Summary
Experiencing a crime can have a significant impact on someone’s emotional wellbeing, physical health, relationships and sense of safety. This can include experiencing theft, robbery, assault, sexual violence, domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, hate crime, fraud, online abuse or witnessing a crime involving someone else. Even when someone has not been physically injured, they may experience fear, shock, humiliation, anger, confusion or a loss of control. A crime can challenge a person’s assumptions about the world, particularly their belief that they are safe, that other people can be trusted or that they can predict what might happen to them. These feelings may be particularly difficult when the person responsible is someone they know or previously trusted.
People respond to crime in different ways. Some may cry, feel anxious or want to talk about what happened, while others may become quiet, feel numb or focus on practical tasks. A person may feel frightened immediately after the incident, or they may initially feel that they are coping before experiencing distress later. They might find themselves repeatedly thinking about what happened, struggling to understand why it occurred or imagining what could have happened differently. These reactions do not mean someone is weak or coping badly. When a person experiences a frightening or threatening event, the brain and body can remain alert to possible danger even after the immediate threat has passed. This can affect sleep, concentration, appetite, memory, energy levels and the ability to relax.
Following a crime, someone may experience reminders that bring back feelings associated with the incident. These reminders might include a particular location, a person’s appearance, a sound, a date, a smell or a situation that resembles what happened. They may experience intrusive memories, nightmares, panic, physical tension or a strong urge to avoid reminders. They might feel constantly on guard, repeatedly check locks, become anxious about leaving home or struggle to feel comfortable around unfamiliar people. Some people may experience guilt or blame themselves for what happened, even when they were not responsible. Others may feel angry with the person who committed the crime, with people who did not help, or with themselves for how they responded. These experiences can be confusing, especially when someone feels that they should have moved on by now.
The effects of crime can extend beyond emotional reactions. Someone may need medical treatment, time away from work or education, help replacing stolen belongings, financial advice or support with housing and security. They may worry about being contacted by the person responsible, encountering them again or being targeted in the future. Reporting a crime can also involve difficult decisions and unfamiliar processes, including giving a statement, providing evidence, attending court or answering questions about what happened. Some people may be worried about whether they will be believed, whether their privacy will be protected or whether reporting will make their circumstances more difficult. Others may not want to involve the police or may be unsure whether they are ready to do so. These concerns can be particularly complicated when the person responsible is a partner, family member, friend, colleague or someone in a position of authority.
A person’s response may also be influenced by previous experiences, their support network, their circumstances and the way others respond to them after the crime. Being listened to, believed and treated with respect can help someone feel less alone. In contrast, being questioned in a blaming way, having their experience dismissed or being pressured to take action before they feel ready may increase distress. People can have mixed feelings about what happened and what they want to do next, and these feelings may change over time. Someone may want to report the crime one day and feel uncertain the next, or they may want support without discussing the details. They should be able to make informed choices about their next steps wherever possible.
Supporting someone after a crime does not mean having to solve everything for them. Often, support involves listening without judgement, recognising the impact of what happened, helping with practical tasks and giving the person opportunities to regain a sense of control. Recovery is not always a straightforward process, and there is no fixed timescale for feeling better. Someone may begin to feel more confident but still experience difficult moments when they encounter reminders or face further challenges. With appropriate support, practical steps to improve safety and time to process the experience, many people find ways to manage the impact of crime and reconnect with activities, relationships and routines that matter to them.
How to help myself
After experiencing a crime, you may find it difficult to understand or manage your reactions. You might feel upset, angry, frightened, embarrassed, confused or numb, and you may experience several different emotions at once. Try to permit yourself to feel what you feel without judging yourself or comparing your response with how someone else might react. There is no correct way to respond to crime, and you do not need to explain your feelings perfectly for them to be valid. You may find it helpful to focus on getting through the next few hours or days rather than trying to work out everything that has happened or what you should do next. Small, manageable steps can help you regain a sense of control when the situation feels overwhelming.
Your immediate safety is an important starting point. If you believe you are still at risk, consider where you could go to feel safer and who you could contact for help. This might involve staying with someone you trust, arranging for someone to accompany you, changing how you travel or reviewing the security of your home or online accounts, depending on the circumstances. If the person responsible continues to contact, threaten, follow or monitor you, consider seeking specialist advice about safety planning rather than trying to manage the situation alone. If you have been physically injured or are concerned about your health, seek appropriate medical care. If there is an immediate danger, call 999. You do not need to make every practical decision at once, and a trusted person or specialist support service may be able to help you consider your options.
It can be helpful to rebuild familiar routines gradually. After a frightening experience, everyday activities such as travelling, shopping, attending work or education, sleeping alone or meeting other people may feel more difficult than they did before. You do not have to return to everything immediately, but avoiding every reminder indefinitely can sometimes make your world feel increasingly restricted. When you feel ready, and it is safe to do so, you could identify a manageable first step, such as going out with someone you trust, visiting a familiar place for a short time or gradually returning to an activity you previously enjoyed. Try to balance giving yourself time to recover with opportunities to reconnect with the parts of life that matter to you. If a particular situation presents a genuine safety risk, prioritise your safety rather than pushing yourself to face it.
Looking after your physical wellbeing can support your ability to cope emotionally. Try to eat regularly, drink enough water, rest when you can and make space for activities that help you feel calm or connected to the present. Sleep may be disrupted by worry, nightmares or feeling on edge, so a predictable evening routine and a comfortable sleeping environment may help. Gentle movement, time outdoors, music, reading, creative activities or spending time with someone you trust may also provide moments of relief. You might find it useful to reduce alcohol or recreational drug use if you notice that these make your sleep, mood or anxiety worse. These activities will not erase what happened, but they may help you manage the strain of dealing with it.
If you experience intrusive memories or feel overwhelmed by reminders, try bringing your attention back to the present. You could look around and name the objects you can see, notice the feeling of your feet against the floor or describe where you are and what you are doing. Some people find slow, comfortable breathing helpful, while others prefer movement, talking to someone or concentrating on a practical activity. There is no single technique that works for everyone, so experiment with what feels grounding rather than forcing yourself to use an approach that increases your distress. If you feel detached, panicky or as though the incident is happening again, remind yourself that the memory is a response to something that happened and check what is around you now. If grounding exercises make you feel worse, stop and seek support to find an approach that suits you.
You may experience guilt, shame or thoughts about what you could have done differently. For example, you might think that you should have recognised a warning sign, refused a request, fought back, left sooner or reported the incident immediately. It is understandable to look for explanations after something frightening has happened, but looking back with the knowledge you have now is different from making decisions in a stressful situation. People respond to threat in different ways, including freezing, complying, trying to escape or focusing on survival. Your response does not mean you caused the crime or were responsible for another person’s actions. If self-blaming thoughts keep returning, try asking yourself what you would say to a friend who had experienced the same thing. You deserve the same compassion and fairness that you would offer to someone else.
You can choose when, how and with whom you talk about what happened. Sharing your experience may help you feel supported, but you do not have to provide details before you feel ready. You could tell someone what you need in practical terms, such as company, help with appointments, someone to listen or support with everyday tasks. If talking feels too difficult, writing down your thoughts, sending a message or speaking to a trained support worker may feel more manageable. It can also help to explain what is not helpful, such as repeated questions, unsolicited advice or pressure to report the crime. If the people around you are unable to respond supportively, this does not mean your experience is less important; you may be able to access more appropriate support through a specialist service.
You can seek support even if you have not reported the crime to the police, are unsure whether you want to report it or do not feel ready to discuss the details. A specialist service may be able to explain your options, help you think about safety and provide emotional or practical support. If you are considering reporting the crime, you can ask what the process may involve and whether someone can support you through it. You do not have to make every decision immediately, although there may be circumstances where acting promptly is important for safety, medical care or preserving evidence. A support service can help you understand the options relevant to your circumstances.
If the effects of the crime are continuing to affect your sleep, relationships, work, education or everyday activities, consider speaking to your GP or a mental health professional. You do not need to wait until things become unbearable or receive a particular diagnosis before asking for help. Support may be useful if you are experiencing persistent anxiety, low mood, nightmares, intrusive memories, avoidance, difficulties trusting others or feeling constantly on edge. Some people experience symptoms associated with trauma, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but not everyone who experiences a crime develops PTSD, and symptoms alone do not mean that you have a particular condition. A professional can help you understand what you are experiencing and explore suitable support.
How to help a loved one
If someone tells you that they have experienced a crime, your response can make a difference to whether they feel safe seeking further support. Try to listen calmly, thank them for telling you and take what they say seriously. You might say, “I’m sorry this happened to you”, “You didn’t deserve this” or “I’m here to listen if you want to talk”. You do not need to find a perfect response or immediately offer solutions. Often, it is more helpful to be present and let the person guide the conversation than to ask lots of questions. Give them time to speak, allow pauses and acknowledge their feelings without trying to persuade them to feel differently.
Avoid questions or comments that could sound as though you are blaming them for what happened. Asking why they were there, why they trusted the person, why they did not fight back or why they did not report it sooner may make them feel that they need to defend their actions. People respond to threatening situations in different ways, and decisions made during or after a frightening experience may be influenced by fear, confusion, shock, safety concerns or practical circumstances. You may naturally have questions, but the person does not owe you a detailed explanation. Focus on what they need now rather than trying to reconstruct the incident or decide whether they responded in the way you would have.
Respect the person’s control over what they share and what happens next. They may want to talk in detail, mention only certain aspects or avoid the subject altogether. They may feel comfortable with a hug one day but not want physical contact on another occasion. Ask before touching them, visiting unexpectedly or sharing information about their experience with other people. Do not promise absolute secrecy if you believe someone is at immediate risk or a safeguarding concern needs to be addressed; instead, be honest about any limits to confidentiality and involve the person in decisions as far as possible. Where there is no immediate safety concern, respect their privacy and do not disclose what happened without their permission.
People who have experienced crime may need different kinds of support at different times. You could ask whether they would prefer you to listen, help them consider their options or assist with a practical task. Practical support might include accompanying them to a medical appointment, helping them contact a support service, arranging transport, preparing meals, helping with childcare or assisting with paperwork. If they are worried about returning home, travelling alone or encountering the person responsible, you could help them explore ways to feel safer. Ask what would be useful rather than assuming you know what they need. Offering two or three manageable options can make it easier for someone who feels overwhelmed to decide.
If the person is considering reporting the crime, help them access reliable information and understand the available options without pressuring them to report or discouraging them from doing so. They may be worried about being believed, the possibility of going to court, the impact on their family or the consequences of the person responsible finding out. You can offer to accompany them or help them contact a specialist service, if they would like this. Avoid confronting the person responsible yourself or contacting them on your loved one’s behalf, as this could increase risk or take control away from the person affected. If there is an ongoing threat, support your loved one to seek specialist advice and consider practical safety measures.
Try to understand that recovery may not follow a predictable pattern. Your loved one might appear to be coping well and later become distressed by a reminder, an anniversary, a legal update or a change in their circumstances. They may repeat parts of the story, ask for reassurance or become frustrated when everyday tasks feel difficult. They may also want to return to their usual activities and not have the crime define every conversation. Continue to treat them as a whole person, not only as someone who has experienced a crime. Check in gently, invite them to activities without pressuring them and let them know you are available even if they do not want to talk.
It can be difficult to see someone you care about in distress, particularly if you feel angry about what happened or wish you could make things better. Try not to place your own feelings at the centre of their recovery or expect them to reassure you. You can talk about your own emotions with someone appropriate, while protecting your loved one’s privacy. If you are concerned that their wellbeing is deteriorating, you can encourage them to contact their GP or a specialist service and offer practical help to do so. If you believe they are in immediate danger, take this seriously and seek urgent assistance. Supporting someone does not mean becoming responsible for every decision they make; being consistent, respectful and compassionate is valuable in itself.
Myth Buster
Myth: If someone seems calm after a crime, they must be fine
Truth: People respond to frightening experiences in different ways. Someone may feel numb, detached or focused on practical tasks at first, with distress emerging later. A calm appearance does not mean the experience has had no impact
Myth: If someone does not report a crime, it means it was not serious or did not happen
Truth: People may not report a crime for many reasons, including fear, shame, uncertainty, concerns about being believed or worries about what might happen next. People deserve support whether or not they report what happened
Myth: Someone who has experienced a crime should have fought back, shouted for help or tried to escape
Truth: People respond to threat in different ways, including freezing, complying, trying to escape or focusing on surviving the situation. A person’s reaction does not make them responsible for the crime; responsibility lies with the person who committed it
Myth: The best way to help is to encourage someone to forget about what happened and move on
Truth: Pressuring someone to move on can leave them feeling misunderstood or ashamed of their reactions. Listening, respecting their pace and helping them access appropriate support can be more helpful
Myth: Only people who experience physical violence are affected by crime
Truth: Crime can affect someone’s emotional wellbeing, sense of safety, finances, relationships and confidence, even when they have no physical injuries. The impact of an experience is not measured by whether someone was physically hurt
Myth: Someone should recover quickly if they have supportive people around them
Truth: Support can make a real difference, but recovery varies depending on the person, their circumstances, what happened and their previous experiences. Someone may continue to struggle even when they have people who care about them
Myth: If the person responsible is a partner, friend or family member, the situation is a private matter
Truth: A crime can be serious regardless of the relationship between the people involved. Someone may have complicated feelings about the person responsible and still deserve safety, support and access to specialist services
Myth: Talking about a crime always helps, so someone should be encouraged to explain what happened
Truth: Some people find talking helpful, while others need time before they feel ready. Repeatedly asking for details or pressuring someone to talk can increase distress. Let the person decide what they want to share and when
Myth: If someone avoids places or activities after a crime, they are being unreasonable
Truth: Avoidance can be an understandable response to feeling unsafe or being reminded of what happened. It may provide temporary relief, although avoiding more and more activities can sometimes restrict someone’s life. Support can help them work towards feeling safer at a pace that suits them, while taking genuine risks seriously
Myth: Supporting someone means you need to know exactly what to say or fix the situation
Truth: You do not need to have all the answers. Listening without judgement, offering practical help, respecting the person’s choices and helping them access support can make a meaningful difference
Support
Support after a crime can include emotional support, practical advice, safety planning, help understanding reporting options and guidance through the criminal justice system. The most appropriate service depends on the type of crime, the person’s circumstances and what they feel ready to access. Someone does not have to know exactly what kind of help they need before contacting a service, and they can ask questions before deciding whether to use the support offered.
Victim Support provides free, confidential support for people affected by crime in England and Wales, whether or not they have reported the crime to the police. Support may include listening, helping someone understand their options, exploring ways to improve safety and identifying further services. A person can contact Victim Support directly, and a friend or family member can also seek information about how best to support someone. Website: victimsupport.org.uk. Support is available by telephone on 0808 16 89 111.
A GP can help if someone is experiencing ongoing anxiety, low mood, sleep difficulties, panic, intrusive memories or other changes affecting everyday life. They can discuss the person’s symptoms, consider whether further assessment or treatment may be useful and help them access appropriate services. Depending on the circumstances, specialist support may also be available for people affected by sexual violence, domestic abuse, stalking, hate crime, fraud or other forms of crime. A person can ask a specialist service about confidentiality, eligibility and what happens when they make contact.
If someone wants to report a crime, they can contact the police for information about their options. They may also be able to access victim support without reporting, and a specialist service can explain what support is available in their situation. If the crime involved sexual violence, domestic abuse or another form of abuse, specialist organisations may be able to discuss safety, medical care, advocacy and reporting options. The person should be supported to make informed decisions wherever possible, rather than being pressured into a course of action.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 999. If they need urgent medical assistance, they should seek emergency care. In England, NHS 111 can provide advice about urgent health needs, including mental health support through the relevant local service. If someone is experiencing severe distress, feels unable to keep themselves safe or is worried they may harm themselves, seek urgent professional support rather than expecting a friend or family member to manage the situation alone.
Therapy interventions
Therapy is not the only form of support, and not everyone who experiences a crime will need psychological treatment. The most appropriate approach depends on the person’s needs, preferences, symptoms and circumstances. Some people benefit first from practical assistance, improved safety and supportive relationships; others may wish to explore therapy. A GP or qualified mental health professional can help someone consider suitable options.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – CBT can help someone understand how thoughts, feelings, physical reactions and behaviours influence one another after a crime. It may be useful when someone experiences anxiety, self-blame, low mood or fears about safety. For example, someone who has been burgled may think, “I will never be safe at home again”, leading them to check the locks repeatedly or avoid being at home alone. CBT can help them examine these thoughts, identify what is within their control and develop practical ways of managing anxiety.
- Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT) – Trauma-focused CBT is a structured therapy for people experiencing significant trauma-related difficulties. It can help them process what happened, understand their reactions, work through distressing beliefs and gradually reduce avoidance. For example, someone who has been assaulted may blame themselves for not responding differently. With a trained therapist, they can explore these beliefs and develop a more balanced understanding of their response. Trauma-focused work should be planned carefully and delivered by a suitably trained professional.
- Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) – EMDR may be offered to people experiencing trauma-related symptoms, including PTSD. It involves recalling aspects of a distressing experience while following a structured process guided by a trained therapist, often involving bilateral stimulation such as eye movements or alternating taps. The aim is to help the memory become less distressing and easier to manage. An assessment can help determine whether EMDR is suitable for the person’s needs and circumstances.
- Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) – CFT can help people who experience shame, guilt or harsh self-criticism after a crime. It supports the development of a more compassionate response to themselves, particularly when they repeatedly question their decisions or feel that they should have prevented what happened. For example, someone who blames themselves for trusting another person may learn to recognise that trust does not make them responsible for someone else’s harmful actions.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – ACT helps people develop ways to respond to difficult thoughts and feelings while taking steps towards the things that matter to them. It does not require someone to approve of what happened or stop feeling upset. For example, someone who feels anxious about reconnecting with friends may learn strategies for making space for that anxiety while gradually returning to meaningful social activities when they feel ready and safe.
- Mindfulness-based approaches – Mindfulness can help someone notice thoughts, emotions and physical sensations without immediately reacting to them. Grounding exercises and present-moment awareness may help when someone feels overwhelmed or caught up in distressing memories. For example, a person might practise noticing their surroundings and the feeling of their feet on the floor when they begin to feel anxious. These approaches should be adapted if focusing on internal sensations increases distress.
- Psychoeducation and coping-skills support – Psychoeducation involves learning about common responses to frightening experiences and how stress can affect the body, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. A professional may help someone recognise triggers, understand their reactions, develop calming strategies and identify when additional help is needed. Understanding these responses can reduce the fear that they are unusual or a sign of personal weakness.
- Supportive counselling – Counselling provides a space to discuss the impact of a crime, explore emotions and consider what might help. It can support someone with feelings such as anger, grief, shame, fear or uncertainty, and help them identify their needs and priorities. The pace should be guided by the person, and they should not feel pressured to describe details of the crime before they are ready.
- Problem-solving approaches – Problem-solving support can help someone manage practical difficulties that arise after a crime, such as returning to work, dealing with financial consequences, rebuilding routines or navigating appointments. A practitioner may help them break a difficult situation into smaller steps, identify available options and decide what to tackle first. This can be particularly helpful when the practical consequences of the crime are contributing to ongoing stress.
- Interpersonal or relationship-focused approaches – These approaches may help someone explore how the experience has affected their relationships, trust, communication and sense of connection with others. For example, someone may find it difficult to accept help or feel safe around people after being harmed by someone they trusted. Therapy can help them understand these changes and consider how to rebuild supportive relationships at a pace that feels appropriate.
Helplines
Rape Crisis England & Wales
Rape Crisis England & Wales is a charity providing free, specialist support for people affected by rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and other forms of sexual violence. They provide emotional support, counselling, advocacy and information for victims and survivors.
Phone: 0808 500 2222
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Online chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Age: 16+ for the national Support Line
The Survivors Trust
The Survivors Trust is a national organisation providing support for people affected by rape, sexual abuse and sexual violence. They support survivors, their families, friends and professionals with information, advice, emotional support and signposting to specialist services.
Phone: 0808 801 0818
Opening times: Monday–Thursday, 10am–12:30pm, 1:30pm–3pm and 6pm–8pm; Friday, 10am–12:30pm and 1:30pm–3pm; Saturday, 10am–12:30pm; Sunday, 6pm–8pm
Text: 07860 022 956
Email: helpline@thesurvivorstrust.org
Website: www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Victim Support
Victim Support is an independent charity providing free, confidential support for people affected by crime and traumatic incidents. They support people affected by issues including bullying, abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, hate crime and other crimes.
Phone: 0808 1689 111
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Live chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.victimsupport.org.uk
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: http://www.giveusashout.org
Mind
Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org
NHS 111 (Option 2)
NHS 111 is an NHS service providing urgent medical and mental health advice and support. It can help with mental health concerns, emotional distress, anxiety, low mood, suicidal thoughts and other urgent health problems.
Phone: For mental health support, call 111 and select the mental health option (option 2)
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
