If someone you know has been the victim of or witness to a crime you may want to know how best to support them. They may be upset, in pain, stressed and overwhelmed by what had happened. There are a number of things you may be able to do to assist them at this time:
- The best way to support them is to not blame them for what happened and to ensure that you, and the victim, remember that it isn’t their fault.
- Ensure the current safety of the individual you are supporting as much as possible.
- Listen to them. Make sure they know you are there for them and allow them to speak without interruption if they want to talk.
- Let them know that how they are feeling is normal, everyone responds differently to these kinds of events. Make sure they know they aren’t alone and that there is support for them if they want it.
- Make sure they know that you believe them about what happened. Some people may feel shame or anxiety that they will be blamed, judged or not believed.
- Ask them what you can do and how they would like help. Offer choices to help them feel in control.
- Assist them with basic tasks such as cooking, cleaning and other day-to-day tasks if this is something they need and want.
- It may be helpful for you to research the type of crime they have experienced and what support services are available for them.
- Respect their privacy. They may want time on their own to process what has happened and additionally they may not want what happened to be discussed openly with other people.
- Accompany them to appointments, to report to police or wherever else they need to go if they want you there. This helps them to feel supported and shows that you believe what happened with your presence.
If you are supporting a child who has been the victim of a crime, encourage them to talk with a trusted adult, help them to consider whether to report to the police and take measures so that they don’t become a victim again.
Reporting the crime
It is the individual’s choice if they want to report the crime or not. Whatever they decide, try to be supportive of them. If they do want to report to the police, you could look into what this may involve and what will happen after reporting. It may also be worth researching the rights of victims and witnesses.
Look after yourself
It is also important to remember your own needs. Looking after someone who has experienced a crime is very beneficial for them but that doesn’t mean it can’t be physically and emotionally draining for you. Ensure you take time for yourself, do things you enjoy and that help you to recharge. Some other things that may be helpful are:
- Light exercise- this can help to release tension and anxiety
- Getting enough sleep so you can think more clearly and better manage things
- Relaxation techniques such as meditation and journaling
- Eat regular meals to maintain health
- Charities such as Victim Support also offer help to those supporting a victim of crime
- It is also okay if you decide you can’t help out anymore or if you need to help out less
- Know that your emotions are also valid. It is normal to feel angry and distressed about what has happened
Things not to do
Whilst it is important to know what you can do to support someone who has experienced or witnessed a crime, it is also important to know what to avoid doing.
- Don’t put pressure on them to talk about things if they aren’t ready to do so yet. They may feel they can open up to you in time, make sure they know you are there if they want to talk and suggest other people they can also talk to.
- Don’t force them to access professional help if they don’t want to do that. They may not need it or they may decide to do this at a later date. This kind of support often is only effective if the individual is willing to engage with it.
- Don’t minimise what they are feeling or what they have been through. Saying things such as ‘it could have been much worse’ or telling someone to ‘keep your chin up’ can seem dismissive and may discourage them from opening up.
- Similarly, don’t expect someone to be over the crime after a certain amount of time. The effects can last a long time, with some periods being better and some worse. That is normal and to be expected.
- Don’t avoid the topic of the crime. This may put extra pressure on them if they do want to talk about it and they may find it easier if you bring it up. If they don’t want to talk about it then they will let you know.
- Don’t judge the individual’s actions and emotions. They may be experiencing some difficult emotions and we don’t understand what exactly they are going through.
- Although you may feel frustrated and upset about what has happened, don’t seek revenge against the offender. This will only add to the stress of the individual and will detract from your ability to look after them.
The impact of crime is far-reaching, not just for those who directly experience or witness it but for their families and loved ones too. Listening, being understanding and keeping yourself informed are some of the main ways you can support victims/ witnesses. However it is also important to keep your own health and wellbeing in mind as you will be much better equipped to help others out if you are well yourself. Remember that you don’t have to do everything yourself and that there are good resources out there to assist you and your loved ones.
Helplines
The Survivors Trust
The Survivors Trust is a national organisation providing support for people affected by rape, sexual abuse and sexual violence. They support survivors, their families, friends and professionals with information, advice, emotional support and signposting to specialist services.
Phone: 0808 801 0818
Opening times: Monday–Thursday, 10am–12:30pm, 1:30pm–3pm and 6pm–8pm; Friday, 10am–12:30pm and 1:30pm–3pm; Saturday, 10am–12:30pm; Sunday, 6pm–8pm
Text: 07860 022 956
Email: helpline@thesurvivorstrust.org
Website: www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Victim Support
Victim Support is an independent charity providing free, confidential support for people affected by crime and traumatic incidents. They support people affected by issues including bullying, abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, hate crime and other crimes.
Phone: 0808 1689 111
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Live chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.victimsupport.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: http://www.samaritans.org
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
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