Summary
Social media is a big part of everyday life for many young people. It can help us stay connected with friends and family, find communities that share our interests, express ourselves, learn new things and discover information that we might not come across elsewhere. Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube and others can provide entertainment, creativity and a sense of belonging.
At the same time, social media can affect our emotional wellbeing, particularly when we spend a lot of time online or find ourselves comparing our lives with what we see on other people’s profiles. Social media often shows a carefully selected version of someone’s life, which can make it easy to feel like everyone else is happier, more attractive, more successful or having more fun. The number of likes, views and followers can also sometimes become linked to how we feel about ourselves.
Social media can also expose us to arguments, bullying, upsetting news, misinformation and content that we weren’t expecting to see. Algorithms can keep showing us similar content based on what we interact with, which can sometimes mean that we become stuck seeing more and more of something that makes us anxious or upset. This can make it difficult to switch off, particularly when we are already feeling stressed or vulnerable.
Social media and comparison
It is normal to compare ourselves with other people, but social media can make this happen much more frequently. We might compare our appearance, friendships, relationships, achievements, money, hobbies or lifestyle with what we see online. Remember that we are usually seeing a small, edited part of someone’s life, rather than everything that is happening behind the scenes.
Someone can post photographs of themselves having an amazing day while also experiencing things that we know nothing about. Similarly, someone having fewer followers or likes doesn’t mean that they are less interesting, attractive or valued. Social media is not an accurate measure of your worth.
Social media can be positive too
Social media isn’t automatically harmful. It can provide genuine connection, support and opportunities to learn. Young people can find communities where they feel understood, particularly if they have interests or experiences that are difficult to find in their offline lives. It can also be a place to discover hobbies, music, educational content, creative inspiration and opportunities.
The aim isn’t necessarily to stop using social media. Instead, it can be helpful to think about how social media makes you feel and whether the way you are using it is working for you. Different platforms and types of content can affect people differently, and what feels positive at one point in your life might become unhelpful at another.
How to help myself
Social media can be enjoyable and helpful, but if you notice that it is leaving you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, lonely or unhappy with yourself, it can help to make some small changes to how you use it. You don’t necessarily need to delete your accounts or stop using social media altogether. Instead, think about what you are getting from it and whether it is helping you feel the way you want to feel.
Try to notice how you feel before, during and after using social media. You might notice that certain accounts, topics or platforms make you feel worse, while others help you feel connected or entertained. Unfollowing, muting or blocking accounts that make you feel anxious, insecure or upset can help you create a more positive online space. Remember that you don’t have to follow someone just because you know them in real life.
It can also help to set boundaries around when and how you use social media. You could have periods of the day where you put your phone away, turn off notifications or avoid social media before bed. If you find yourself scrolling without really enjoying it, try taking a break and doing something else instead. This could be listening to music, playing a game, reading, going outside, crafting or spending time with someone.
Be mindful of comparing yourself to people online. Remind yourself that social media usually shows a carefully selected version of someone’s life. Photos can be edited, filtered or carefully chosen, and you rarely see the difficult or ordinary moments that happen outside of the post. Try to focus on how you feel about your own life rather than using likes, followers or someone else’s appearance as a measure of your worth.
Think about what you are consuming, not just how long you are online. You could spend an hour looking at things that make you laugh and feel connected, or ten minutes looking at content that makes you feel awful. Curating your feed to include hobbies, interests, supportive communities, and things that make you feel good can make a big difference.
If you come across bullying, harassment or upsetting content, you don’t have to deal with it alone. Block or mute the person, report the content and tell someone you trust if it is affecting you. Avoid getting drawn into arguments with people who are deliberately trying to upset you.
Make sure social media isn’t replacing everything else in your life. Keep making time for sleep, school or work, hobbies, exercise, friends and family, and activities away from your phone. You don’t need to be constantly available online to maintain relationships.
Choosing What You See Online
You have more control over your social media feed than you might realise. It can be helpful to think about which people, pages and public accounts you follow and how the content they share affects you. You might notice that certain accounts regularly leave you feeling anxious, upset, angry, left out or unhappy with yourself. Other accounts might make you feel entertained, supported, interested or inspired.
If someone’s content is affecting your wellbeing, you do not have to keep seeing it. Most social media platforms have options such as unfollowing, muting, hiding, snoozing or restricting someone’s content. The wording and options vary between platforms, but these features can help you see less of someone’s posts without necessarily removing them completely. On many platforms, the person will not be notified that you have unfollowed or muted them. This can be useful if you want some distance from someone’s content without creating an uncomfortable conversation.
You can also review the accounts you follow from time to time. Ask yourself: “How do I usually feel after looking at this person’s content?” If you regularly feel worse about yourself, compare your life to theirs, feel pressured to look or behave a certain way, or become stuck checking their posts, it may be worth changing what you see. You can also mute specific words, topics or types of content on some platforms if these are particularly difficult for you.
Try to add positive content as well as removing unhelpful content. You could follow accounts related to hobbies, sport, music, art, gaming, education, nature, humour or other interests. You might also follow reliable mental health organisations or communities that make you feel understood and supported. Your feed does not need to look the same as anyone else’s.
Remember that following someone online is not an obligation. You do not have to follow someone just because you know them at school, college, work or in your friendship group. You can change who you follow whenever you want, and you can change your mind later. Curating your feed is not about being rude or rejecting people – it can simply be a way of creating an online environment that feels healthier for you.
If you are worried that someone will notice or be upset, remember that you are allowed to set boundaries around what you see online. You do not owe someone access to your attention or your social media feed. If someone is repeatedly contacting you, threatening you or making you feel unsafe, you may need stronger boundaries such as blocking or reporting them and telling someone you trust.
How to help a loved one
If someone you care about is struggling with social media, try to understand what they are getting from it before focusing on how much time they spend online. Social media may be an important way for them to connect with friends, find support or enjoy their interests. Rather than immediately telling them to delete an app or put their phone away, ask them what they enjoy about being online and what they find difficult.
If you notice that social media is affecting their mood or confidence, talk to them without judgement. They might be experiencing pressure to look a certain way, comparing themselves to others, dealing with bullying or feeling anxious about missing out. Let them know that they can talk to you about what they see online without worrying that you will immediately take their phone away or tell them off.
You can support them to create a healthier online environment. This might mean helping them mute or unfollow accounts that make them feel bad about themselves, blocking people who are unkind or reporting harmful content. You could also help them change their privacy settings and notifications if they are receiving unwanted messages or feeling overwhelmed by constant notifications.
Try to focus on balance rather than banning social media completely. Encourage them to spend time doing things away from their phone, such as hobbies, seeing friends, exercising, getting outside or spending time together. Doing these things with them can make it feel less like you are telling them what they should be doing and more like you are helping them find other things they enjoy.
If they are struggling with comparison or low self-esteem, remind them that social media rarely shows the full picture of someone’s life. Encourage conversations about filters, editing, algorithms and the pressure people can experience online. Help them remember that likes, followers, views and comments aren’t a measure of their value.
If social media is affecting their sleep, school, relationships, mood or everyday life, encourage them to speak to someone they trust or a mental health professional. If they are experiencing online bullying, harassment, sexual abuse or threats, help them report it and access appropriate support.
Avoid making social media the centre of every conversation. Continue spending time together, talking about their interests and doing things they enjoy offline. Knowing that they are valued for who they are – rather than how they appear online – can be incredibly important.
Myth Buster
Myth: “Social media is always bad for you.”
Truth: Social media can have both positive and negative effects. It can help people stay connected, find communities, express themselves, learn new things and discover people with similar interests. The impact can depend on what someone is viewing, how they are using social media and how it makes them feel.
Myth: “If someone spends a lot of time on social media, they are addicted.”
Truth: Spending a lot of time online does not automatically mean someone is addicted. Social media can be an important part of friendships and everyday life. It may be more helpful to look at how social media is affecting someone, such as whether they feel unable to stop using it, are neglecting important parts of their life or continue using it despite it making them feel distressed.
Myth: “Everyone online is happier and more successful than me.”
Truth: Social media usually shows a carefully selected version of someone’s life. People choose what they post and may use filters, editing or carefully planned photographs. You rarely see the boring, difficult or upsetting parts of someone’s life. Comparing your everyday life to someone else’s highlight reel can create an unrealistic picture of how everyone else is doing.
Myth: “More likes and followers mean you’re more popular or valuable.”
Truth: Likes, views and followers are numbers, not measures of your worth. Social media algorithms can influence how much engagement someone receives, and popularity online doesn’t necessarily reflect how much someone is valued or cared about in their real life.
Myth: “If someone is being bullied online, they should just ignore it.”
Truth: Online bullying can have a real impact on someone’s mental health and wellbeing, and simply ignoring it isn’t always enough. Blocking the person, reporting the content and telling someone you trust can help. Young people experiencing online bullying shouldn’t have to manage it alone.
Myth: “You have to reply to messages straight away.”
Truth: You are allowed to take a break. You don’t have to be constantly available to friends, followers or group chats. Turning off notifications, putting your phone down or replying later can help protect your time and wellbeing.
Myth: “Deleting social media is the only way to have a healthy relationship with it.”
Truth: You don’t necessarily need to delete your accounts. You can change how you use social media by muting or unfollowing accounts, changing privacy settings, limiting notifications and taking regular breaks. What works for one person might not work for another.
Myth: “What happens online isn’t real life.”
Truth: Online experiences can have very real emotional and psychological effects. Bullying, harassment, exclusion, sexual abuse and seeing upsetting content can affect how someone feels at school, at home and around other people. Just because something happens through a screen doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
Support
There are lots of places where a young person can get support if social media is starting to affect their wellbeing. The type of support that is helpful will depend on what is happening and how much it is affecting everyday life.
- A parent, carer, teacher, pastoral lead or another trusted adult can provide a safe space to talk and help you work out what to do next.
- Your school or college may have a pastoral team, school counsellor, safeguarding lead or mental health support who can help with difficulties such as bullying, social pressure or online conflict.
- A GP can talk through how social media is affecting your mental health and help you access further support if needed.
- If social media is contributing to significant anxiety, low mood, low self-esteem or difficulties with everyday life, you may be able to access psychological support through local NHS services.
- A counsellor can provide a confidential space to explore how social media is affecting your thoughts, feelings, relationships and confidence.
- If you’re experiencing online bullying, harassment, sexual abuse, threats or someone is sharing private information or images about you, a trusted adult or safeguarding professional can help you stay safe and decide what to do next.
Therapy interventions
There isn’t one specific therapy for social media use, but therapy can be helpful when social media is contributing to difficulties with mood, anxiety, self-esteem, relationships or everyday functioning. The type of support will depend on what is making social media difficult for the individual.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Can help explore thoughts and behaviours linked to social media, such as comparing yourself to others, worrying about what people think of you, or feeling that you need to constantly check your phone. It can also support healthier patterns of use.
- CBT for anxiety – Useful when social media contributes to worries about judgement, missing out, rejection or needing reassurance. It can help someone gradually become more comfortable with not checking their phone or seeking reassurance online.
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) – Can be helpful when social media comparison contributes to shame, self-criticism or low self-esteem. It focuses on developing a kinder and less critical relationship with yourself.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Can help someone notice urges to check or scroll without automatically acting on them. It also focuses on reconnecting with personal values and making time for things that matter offline.
- Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) – May be useful when social media difficulties are connected to friendships, loneliness, conflict, rejection or changes in relationships.
- Family therapy or family-based support – Particularly useful for children and young people. It can help families talk about social media use, online safety and boundaries without creating constant conflict around phones.
- Digital wellbeing support – A professional may help someone look at their patterns of social media use and identify practical changes, such as managing notifications, creating screen-free periods and developing alternative activities.
Helplines
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
The Mix
The Mix is a charity providing free information, advice and support for young people on all sorts of issues that can affect their lives and wellbeing. This includes mental health, relationships, money, housing, work and education, drugs and alcohol, bullying, social media, family difficulties and many other challenges. They offer information and practical advice to help young people understand what they are going through, make informed decisions and find further support when they need it.
Phone: 0808 808 4994
Opening times: 11 am–11 pm, 7 days a week
Website: http://www.themix.org.uk
Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 – available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org
Mind
Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org
Kooth
Kooth is a free online mental health and wellbeing service for young people. It offers a safe and confidential space where young people can access information, read helpful resources, take part in online discussions and receive support from trained professionals. Kooth can help with all sorts of issues that may affect young people’s mental health and wellbeing, including stress, anxiety, relationships, bullying, family difficulties, low mood and other challenges they may be experiencing.
Website: www.kooth.com
Online support: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Live chat with a practitioner: 12 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday; 6 pm–10 pm Saturday and Sunday
CEOP
CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection) is a service from the National Crime Agency that helps protect children and young people from sexual abuse and exploitation online. They provide information and advice about online sexual abuse, grooming, sexual exploitation and staying safe online.
Website: www.ceop.police.uk
Report: Online reporting form available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Victim Support
Victim Support is an independent charity providing free, confidential support for people affected by crime and traumatic incidents. They support people affected by issues including bullying, abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, hate crime and other crimes.
Phone: 0808 1689 111
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Live chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.victimsupport.org.uk
Support For Us 