Summary
Why Share Your Story?
Sharing your experiences publicly can be a powerful way to raise awareness, challenge stigma, help other people feel less alone and encourage change. Talking about something you have experienced may help someone else recognise that they are not the only person going through it. Your story might also help other people understand an experience they have never personally encountered.
There are lots of different ways you might choose to share your story. You could use social media, write a blog, make a video or podcast, take part in a school or community project, speak at an event or simply talk to people you know. You don’t have to share your experiences publicly for them to be meaningful, and there is no right or wrong way to tell your story. You are allowed to decide whether you want to share, when you want to share and how much you want to share.
What am I comfortable sharing?
Before sharing your story, it can be helpful to think about what you are comfortable making public and what you would prefer to keep private. You might want to share certain parts of your experience while keeping other details for yourself or for people you trust. You don’t have to tell the whole story for what you do share to be meaningful.
Think carefully about information that could identify you, such as your full name, photograph, location, school, workplace or other personal information. If you are talking about other people, consider whether you are comfortable sharing information about them too. Sensitive information can sometimes identify someone even when you haven’t directly used their name, particularly when combined with other details.
It can also be helpful to think about your future self. Once something has been shared online, you may have less control over where it goes. Someone could screenshot, save, download or share your post with other people, even if you later delete it. Before sharing something personal, consider whether you would still feel comfortable with it being public in a few years’ time, including when applying for university, jobs or other opportunities.
You also don’t have to share the most difficult or personal parts of your experience to be authentic. It can sometimes feel as though you need to provide lots of detail for people to understand what happened, but you can choose to focus on what you learned, what helped you, what you wish other people understood or what you would like to see change. Your boundaries are still valid even if other people want to know more.
Looking after yourself
It is important to put your own health and wellbeing first when sharing your story. Talking or writing about difficult experiences can bring up emotions, memories or physical sensations that you weren’t expecting. You might feel relieved, empowered or proud after sharing, but you could also feel vulnerable, anxious, angry, embarrassed or overwhelmed. Sometimes the impact doesn’t become noticeable until afterwards.
Think about what support you will have around you before and after sharing. You might tell someone you trust that you are planning to share your story, arrange to spend time with someone afterwards or make plans for something comforting and familiar. If reading comments or messages becomes upsetting, you can take a break from social media, turn off notifications or ask someone you trust to help you manage them.
It is also okay to decide that you aren’t ready to share your story yet. There is no deadline for telling people what happened to you. You could write your story privately, talk it through with someone you trust or simply give yourself more time to think about it. Waiting doesn’t mean your experience is any less important.
Setting boundaries
Remember that you are in control of your story. Sharing something publicly does not mean that you have to answer every question people ask or provide more information when someone wants to know more. You are allowed to say that something is private, change the subject, ignore a message or decide that you don’t want to discuss something further.
You can also use the tools available on social media to protect yourself. Depending on the platform, you may be able to turn off comments, restrict replies, block or mute accounts, limit who can message you or take a post down. These boundaries aren’t rude or unreasonable — they are ways of protecting your wellbeing.
It can be helpful to prepare yourself for different reactions. Many people may respond with kindness, support and understanding, but you could also receive insensitive comments, judgement, disagreement or questions that you weren’t expecting. Someone else’s reaction does not determine whether your experience was valid. You don’t have to defend yourself to strangers on the internet, and you are allowed to step away when a conversation becomes too much.
Sharing your story can also lead to other people contacting you because they recognise themselves in your experience. It can feel meaningful to know that your story has helped someone, but you are not responsible for becoming their therapist, counsellor or main source of support. You can listen and be kind while still encouraging them to speak to a trusted adult or professional. Supporting someone else should not come at the cost of your own wellbeing.
Protecting other people’s privacy
Sometimes our experiences involve other people, such as family members, friends, partners, teachers or professionals. Before including someone else in your story, think about whether they could be identified and whether they would be comfortable with that information being shared.
Avoid sharing someone’s name, photograph, contact details, location or other identifying information without their permission, particularly when the information is sensitive. Even if you don’t name someone directly, details about an event or relationship could make it possible for other people to work out who you are talking about.
There may also be situations where sharing another person’s information could put them at risk or affect their own privacy and wellbeing. You can still talk about your own experience while changing or leaving out details about other people. Your story belongs to you, but other people’s personal information belongs to them.
You don’t owe anyone your story
Ultimately, you don’t owe anyone access to your experiences. Sharing your story can be empowering and can help create positive change, but you don’t have to share something just because other people are interested. You don’t need to prove how difficult something was, educate everyone about what happened or turn your experiences into something inspirational.
Your story can be private, partly shared or completely public – and you can change your mind at any point. What matters most is that the decision feels right for you and that sharing doesn’t come at the expense of your safety or wellbeing.
Retraumatisation and secondary trauma
Sharing your story can sometimes bring up thoughts, memories, emotions or physical sensations connected to the original experience. This is sometimes called retraumatisation, particularly when talking about or revisiting an experience causes someone to feel as though they are experiencing aspects of the trauma again. This doesn’t mean that sharing your story will necessarily be harmful, but it is worth being aware that it can be emotionally difficult, particularly if the experience is still raw or has not been fully processed.
There is also something called secondary or vicarious trauma, which can affect people who hear about or repeatedly engage with other people’s traumatic experiences. For example, someone supporting a friend, listening to lots of people’s stories or creating content about traumatic experiences may begin to experience distress, intrusive thoughts, changes in mood or a heightened sense of fear themselves. This is why looking after your own wellbeing matters whether you are sharing your own story or listening to someone else’s. Taking breaks, setting boundaries and having someone you can talk to can help reduce the emotional impact.
How to help myself
Before sharing your story, take some time to think about why you want to share it and what you hope will happen afterwards. There is no pressure to share straight away, and you can change your mind at any point. If you’re unsure, try writing your story privately first or talking it through with someone you trust. This can help you work out which parts you genuinely want other people to know about and which parts you would rather keep for yourself.
Think carefully about what information you are comfortable making public. Remember that once something is online, you may not have complete control over it. People can screenshot, save or share posts, even if you delete them later. Consider whether you would be comfortable with the information being available to future employers, teachers, friends or family. You might decide to leave out your full name, location, school, workplace or other identifying details.
You also don’t need to share the most painful or personal parts of your experience. You can talk about what you learned, what helped you, how you felt or what you wish other people understood without describing details that feel too vulnerable. If you notice yourself feeling pressured to share more because people are asking questions, remind yourself that you are allowed to say “I’d rather not talk about that.”
Think about how sharing might affect your mental health. Talking about difficult experiences can bring up memories or emotions that you weren’t expecting. Before posting, consider what you will do if you become upset afterwards. You could arrange to speak to someone you trust, plan something comforting to do, or decide that you won’t read comments immediately. Taking a break from social media after sharing is completely okay.
It can also help to prepare for different reactions. Some people may be supportive, while others might make insensitive comments, ask intrusive questions or disagree with you. You don’t need to defend your experiences to strangers. You can delete comments, block or mute people, turn off comments and step away from the conversation whenever you need to.
If people contact you because they relate to your story, remember that you are not responsible for supporting everyone who reaches out. You can be compassionate without becoming someone’s therapist. If someone tells you that they are struggling, you can encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or professional rather than taking responsibility for keeping them safe yourself.
How to help a loved one
If someone you care about is thinking about sharing their story publicly, start by listening rather than deciding for them. Ask what they hope to achieve by sharing and what they feel comfortable making public. They may be excited, nervous or unsure, and they don’t need to have everything figured out before talking to you.
Help them think about what they want to share and what they want to keep private. You could gently encourage them to consider whether they are comfortable with their name, photograph, location, school, workplace or details about other people being publicly available. It can also be useful to think about their future self and whether they would still feel comfortable with the information being online years from now.
Try not to pressure them to tell the whole story. They don’t need to share the most painful or personal details for their experience to be meaningful. If they are unsure about something, encourage them to leave it out for now. They can always choose to share more later, but they may not be able to fully take something back once it has been made public.
Be there for them before and after they share. Talking about difficult experiences publicly can bring up unexpected emotions, even when someone feels confident about their decision. You could arrange to spend time with them afterwards, check in with them or help them take a break from comments and messages if things become overwhelming.
You can also help them prepare for different reactions. Some people may be supportive, while others may ask intrusive questions, make insensitive comments or disagree with them. Remind your loved one that they don’t have to respond to everyone. You could help them think about their boundaries beforehand, such as which questions they will answer, whether they want comments switched on and when they will step away from social media.
If other people are mentioned in their story, gently remind them to consider those people’s privacy too. Identifying information about family members, friends, partners or professionals may be sensitive. They can often talk about their own experiences without revealing information that could identify someone else.
Most importantly, don’t make them feel that they have to share their story because it could help other people. Sharing can be incredibly meaningful, but their wellbeing comes first. If they decide not to share, change their mind or take a post down, support that decision.
Myth Buster
Myth: “If you’ve decided to share your story, you have to tell everything.”
Truth: You can choose exactly how much of your story you want to share. You don’t need to describe the most personal, painful or difficult parts of your experience for your story to be meaningful. You can leave details out, change identifying information or focus on what you learned and what helped you.
Myth: “If you share something online, you can’t change your mind.”
Truth: You can change your mind at any point. You can delete a post, turn off comments, block people or decide that you don’t want to discuss something further. However, it’s important to remember that other people may have already screenshotted, saved or shared something, so deleting the original post cannot always remove it completely.
Myth: “Sharing your story means you have to answer people’s questions.”
Truth: You don’t owe anyone an explanation. People may be curious about your experiences, but you are allowed to say that something is private, ignore a question or end a conversation. Setting boundaries doesn’t make your story less authentic.
Myth: “You need to be completely recovered before you can share your experience.”
Truth: There is no specific point at which you are “ready” to share. Some people find sharing helpful while they are still going through something, while others prefer to wait until they have had time to process it. What matters is considering whether sharing feels safe and manageable for you.
Myth: “Sharing your story is always empowering.”
Truth: Sharing can feel empowering, but it can also leave someone feeling vulnerable, exposed, anxious or overwhelmed. Both experiences are valid. Talking publicly about difficult experiences can bring up emotions you weren’t expecting, so it is important to consider what support you will have afterwards.
Myth: “If your story helps someone else, you should keep supporting them.”
Truth: You can care about someone without becoming responsible for their wellbeing. People may contact you because they relate to your story, but you are not their therapist or crisis support. You can encourage them to speak to a trusted adult or professional while maintaining your own boundaries.
Myth: “If you regret sharing something, you’ve ruined everything.”
Truth: Regretting a post doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that you can’t move forward. You can take the post down, adjust your privacy settings, block or mute people and seek support if you’re feeling overwhelmed. You may not be able to control everything that happens to content once it is online, but you can still take steps to regain a sense of control.
Myth: “You owe people your story if it could raise awareness.”
Truth: You don’t owe anyone your story. You are allowed to keep your experiences private. Choosing not to share doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people or that your experience isn’t important. Your wellbeing and safety come first.
Support
If you’re thinking about sharing your story, you don’t have to work everything out on your own. Talking it through with someone you trust can help you decide what feels right for you and think about any possible impact of sharing publicly. This could be a parent or carer, friend, teacher, youth worker, counsellor or another trusted adult.
School, college or university support can also be useful, particularly if your story relates to something that has happened in an educational setting. A pastoral team, safeguarding lead, school counsellor or student support service can help you think about your options and make sure you have appropriate support around you.
A GP or mental health professional can be helpful if sharing your experiences brings up difficult memories or affects your mood, anxiety, sleep or everyday life. You don’t need to be in crisis to ask for support, and you can talk about how you’re feeling without having to share your entire story publicly.
If you are sharing your story through social media, a charity, campaign or media organisation, consider whether they have safeguarding procedures and someone you can contact if you become uncomfortable or distressed. If you’re working with an organisation, you can ask what will happen to your story, who will see it and whether you can withdraw your consent later.
You can also seek specialist support related to the experience you’re sharing. For example, if your story involves abuse, bullying, trauma, discrimination, eating difficulties, self-harm or another mental health difficulty, a specialist organisation may be able to provide support from people who understand that particular experience.
Therapy interventions
Therapy can provide a safe and private space to explore your experiences and prepare for sharing your story, if that is something you choose to do. A therapist can help you understand how you feel about sharing, work through difficult emotions or memories that may come up, and think about your boundaries and what you are comfortable making public. Therapy can also help you build confidence, develop coping strategies and prepare for different reactions, so that you can make a decision that feels safe and right for you. You don’t have to share your story in therapy before you’re ready, and you don’t have to share it publicly at all.
- Counselling – Provides a confidential space to explore your experiences and feelings at your own pace, while helping you think through what you want to share and what you would prefer to keep private.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Can help with anxiety, self-doubt, shame or worries about how people might react to your story. It can support you to challenge unhelpful thoughts and develop strategies for managing difficult emotions.
- Trauma-focused CBT – May be helpful if your story involves a traumatic or distressing experience. It can support you to process what happened and feel more prepared to talk about it without becoming overwhelmed.
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) – Can help process distressing memories that still feel emotionally overwhelming. This may help someone feel more able to approach their story without being completely consumed by difficult memories.
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) – Can be particularly helpful when someone experiences shame, guilt or self-blame about what happened. It can support a kinder and more understanding view of yourself and your experiences.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Can help you make space for difficult emotions while thinking about your values and what matters to you. This can be useful when deciding whether sharing your story fits with what you want for yourself.
Helplines
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
The Mix
The Mix is a charity providing free information, advice and support for young people on all sorts of issues that can affect their lives and wellbeing. This includes mental health, relationships, money, housing, work and education, drugs and alcohol, bullying, social media, family difficulties and many other challenges. They offer information and practical advice to help young people understand what they are going through, make informed decisions and find further support when they need it.
Phone: 0808 808 4994
Opening times: 11 am–11 pm, 7 days a week
Website: http://www.themix.org.uk
Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 – available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org
Mind
Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Kooth
Kooth is a free online mental health and wellbeing service for young people. It offers a safe and confidential space where young people can access information, read helpful resources, take part in online discussions and receive support from trained professionals. Kooth can help with all sorts of issues that may affect young people’s mental health and wellbeing, including stress, anxiety, relationships, bullying, family difficulties, low mood and other challenges they may be experiencing.
Website: www.kooth.com
Online support: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Live chat with a practitioner: 12 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday; 6 pm–10 pm Saturday and Sunday
Rape Crisis England & Wales
Rape Crisis England & Wales is a charity providing free, specialist support for people affected by rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and other forms of sexual violence. They provide emotional support, counselling, advocacy and information for victims and survivors.
Phone: 0808 500 2222
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Online chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Age: 16+ for the national Support Line
Victim Support
Victim Support is an independent charity providing free, confidential support for people affected by crime and traumatic incidents. They support people affected by issues including bullying, abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, hate crime and other crimes.
Phone: 0808 1689 111
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Live chat: Available 24 hours a day
Website: www.victimsupport.org.uk
Support For Us 