What is a self-soothe box?
A self-soothe box or bag is a collection of things that can help you feel calmer, safer and more grounded when you are experiencing difficult, overwhelming or intense feelings.
When we are upset, anxious, angry, stressed or overwhelmed, it can be harder to think clearly or remember what usually helps us. Having helpful things gathered together in one place means you do not have to think about what you need in the moment. A self-soothe box will not make difficult feelings disappear or fix everything that is happening. It can provide something to focus on and help you move towards a calmer place.
There is no right or wrong way to make a self-soothe box. It can be personalised with things that you find comforting, calming or grounding. You could make one together with a parent, carer or trusted adult, or make one yourself.
What do I need?
- Choose a container
Find something to keep your items together. This could be:
- A shoebox
- A pencil case
- A small storage box
- A toiletry bag
- A backpack or handbag
- A decorated cardboard box
- A small tin or pouch
You could decorate your box to make it feel like your own. You could also have:
- A larger box at home with lots of different items
- A smaller bag that you can take to school, college, university, work or when you are out
Choose something easy to open and access.
- Items:
Sight:
One way to choose things for your self-soothe box is to think about your five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. You do not need to include something for every sense. Choose things that you personally find comforting, calming or grounding.
Looking at something familiar, positive or interesting can provide something to focus your attention on. You could include:
- Photos of people, pets or places that are important to you
- Pictures of happy or comforting memories
- Positive quotes, affirmations or song lyrics that mean something to you
- Notes or messages from people you care about
- A letter to yourself written when you were feeling happier or calmer
- A favourite book, comic or magazine
- A colouring book or small drawing pad
- A puzzle, word search or activity book
- Something visually interesting, such as a glitter jar or sensory toy
Sound:
Sounds can be comforting, distracting or help reduce the impact of sounds that feel overwhelming. You could include:
- Earphones or headphones
- A spare pair of earphones
- Earplugs or ear defenders if noise can feel overwhelming
- A playlist of music that helps you feel happy, calm or relaxed
- A favourite podcast or audiobook
- A video saved on your phone or another device that helps you feel calm or relaxed
- Recordings of calming sounds, such as rain, waves or white noise
If you keep earphones or headphones in your box, remember to put them back afterwards so they are available when you need them. Create different playlists for different situations. You could have one for when you want to feel calm, one for when you need cheering up and one for when you want to block out background noise.
Smells:
Smells can be associated with memories and emotions. Familiar or pleasant smells may help you feel more comfortable. You could include:
- Hand cream or moisturiser
- A favourite body spray
- A scented bag or sachet
- Scented pens
- A scented toy or piece of fabric
- A favourite lip balm
- Something with a smell associated with a happy memory
Some people find strong smells overwhelming. If this is the case, you can leave smells out of your box or choose something with a subtle scent.
Taste:
Having something to eat or drink can provide another way to focus your attention on the present moment. You could include:
- Sour sweets
- Mints
- Chewing gum
- A favourite sweet or small snack
- Spicy sweets, if you enjoy them
- A favourite drink or hot chocolate sachet for your home box
Strong flavours, such as sour or spicy tastes, can provide a strong sensory experience that helps you focus on the present moment. Consider allergies, dietary requirements and choking risks when choosing food items.
Touch:
Touch can provide something physical to focus on when you are feeling overwhelmed. You could include:
- Fidget toys with different textures
- Stress balls
- Putty or therapy dough
- A soft piece of fabric
- A small soft toy
- A textured toy
- A smooth stone or pebble
- A sensory item that feels comfortable to you
- A blanket or soft hoodie for your home box
Different textures work for different people. You might prefer something soft and fluffy, or something smooth, stretchy, rough or firm.
- Other things:
Your self-soothe box does not have to contain only physical objects. You can also include things that remind you of strategies that help you cope. For example:
- A list of things that usually help when you are feeling overwhelmed
- Breathing exercises
- Grounding exercises
- A list of your favourite distractions
- A list of people you can talk to
- A reminder of places where you feel safe
- A written coping plan
- A reminder of things you are looking forward to
- A card with some encouraging words to yourself
You could make a “When I’m struggling…” card with a few simple steps. For example, you could have:
- Take a break from what I am doing.
- Find somewhere I feel safe.
- Use something from my self-soothe box.
- Try a grounding or breathing exercise.
- Tell someone I trust how I am feeling.
- Ask for help if I need it.
Keep your self-soothe box somewhere that is easy to access. You could keep it:
- Next to your bed
- On a shelf in your bedroom
- Somewhere you spend a lot of time
- In your school or college bag
- In your work bag
- In the car
- At a trusted person’s house
You could also make a mini self-soothe bag containing a few of your favourite items to take with you when you are out.
For parents/carers:
If you are making a self-soothe box with a young person, let them choose what goes inside. Different people find different things calming. You could ask:
- What helps you feel calmer when things are difficult?
- What helps you feel safe?
- Are there any sounds that you find relaxing?
- Are there any textures you really like?
- What could I put in here that would make things a little easier?
- Who would you want to contact if you were having a really difficult time?
Making the box together can provide an opportunity to talk about what helps the young person when they are struggling. The contents of the box can be changed over time. A young person may find different things helpful depending on how they are feeling or what is happening around them.
A self-soothe box can be used alongside other sources of support. If a young person regularly feels overwhelmed or is struggling to keep themselves safe, they can speak to a trusted adult or an appropriate professional.
Helplines
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
Kooth
Kooth is a free online mental health and wellbeing service for young people. It offers a safe and confidential space where young people can access information, read helpful resources, take part in online discussions and receive support from trained professionals. Kooth can help with all sorts of issues that may affect young people’s mental health and wellbeing, including stress, anxiety, relationships, bullying, family difficulties, low mood and other challenges they may be experiencing.
Website: www.kooth.com
Online support: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Live chat with a practitioner: 12 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday; 6 pm–10 pm Saturday and Sunday
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: http://www.samaritans.org
Support For Us 