Summary
Self-care means taking care of your physical and emotional wellbeing. It includes the everyday things you can do to help yourself feel safe, healthy and able to cope with life’s ups and downs. Self-care looks different for everyone and doesn’t have to mean doing something big or expensive — sometimes it’s simply getting enough sleep, eating regularly, taking a break or doing something you enjoy.
Looking after yourself can include getting enough rest, staying active, spending time with people you trust, keeping up with things you enjoy and giving yourself time to relax. It can also mean noticing how you’re feeling and recognising when you need some extra support. Self-care isn’t about making difficult feelings disappear or handling everything by yourself; it’s about giving yourself the care and support you need to manage them.
Self-care can be particularly helpful when you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious or low. Having small things that help you recharge can make difficult days feel more manageable and give you space to reset. Different things work for different people — you might find comfort in listening to music, gaming, being creative, going outside, reading, spending time with friends or simply having some quiet time alone. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. Your wellbeing matters, and looking after yourself is something you deserve to make time for.
Self-care can look different for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be expensive, productive or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes taking care of yourself might mean having a shower, eating something, getting an early night, watching your favourite show, listening to music, having a cry, taking a break or doing absolutely nothing for a while. What matters is finding things that help you feel safe, rested, supported or more able to cope. You don’t have to do everything perfectly, and you don’t need to “earn” rest or take care of yourself only when you’re struggling. Small things count too.
How to help myself
Self-care starts with noticing what your mind and body need and finding small ways to look after yourself. Try to build some simple routines around things like sleep, eating regularly, drinking enough water and getting some movement. You don’t need to completely change your routine overnight — even small changes can make a difference.
Make time for things that help you recharge and feel like yourself. This could be listening to music, gaming, reading, drawing, being creative, spending time outside, watching something comforting or having some quiet time. Try to balance time online with other activities, and take a break from social media if you notice it is making you feel worse or encouraging you to compare yourself to others.
Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions rather than ignoring them. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try writing your thoughts down, talking to someone you trust, using breathing or grounding techniques, or taking some time away from whatever is stressing you. It’s also okay to set boundaries, say no and ask for space when you need it.
Try to stay connected to people who make you feel safe, accepted and supported. You don’t have to deal with difficult feelings by yourself. Talking to a friend, parent or carer, teacher, youth worker or another trusted adult can help you see things differently and feel less alone.
Most importantly, don’t put pressure on yourself to practise self-care perfectly. Some days you might have lots of energy and other days you might only manage the basics. That’s okay. Self-care is about supporting yourself, not giving yourself another list of things you have to get right.
If you’re struggling for a long time, your feelings are affecting your everyday life, or you’re finding it difficult to keep yourself safe, self-care might not be enough on its own. Speak to a trusted adult or healthcare professional so you can get the extra support you need.
How to help a loved one
If someone you care about is struggling to look after themselves, small amounts of support can make a big difference. Try to understand what is making self-care difficult rather than assuming they are being lazy or don’t care. Stress, low mood, anxiety, exhaustion or other difficulties can make everyday tasks feel much harder. Give them space to talk about how they are feeling and listen without judgement.
You can offer practical support with everyday things. This might mean helping them get into a regular sleep routine, making food together, going for a walk, helping them tidy their space or simply sitting with them while they do something they’ve been putting off. If they are overwhelmed, help break things down into smaller, more manageable steps rather than giving them a long list of things they need to do.
Encourage them to make time for things they enjoy and people who make them feel good. You could invite them to do something together, such as watching a film, playing a game, listening to music, going outside or doing something creative. You don’t have to make everything about their difficulties — sometimes having a normal, enjoyable time together is exactly what someone needs.
Try to avoid taking over completely. Supporting someone to do things for themselves can help them feel more confident and in control. Ask what would actually be helpful and respect their choices where possible. What feels relaxing or restorative to you might not work for them, so let them decide what self-care looks like for them.
If you’re concerned that someone is struggling to care for themselves because of their mental health, encourage them to talk to someone they trust or a healthcare professional. Self-care can support wellbeing, but it isn’t always enough when someone is experiencing significant or ongoing difficulties. If you’re worried about their immediate safety, seek urgent help.
Myth Buster
Myth: Self-care is just pampering yourself.
Truth: Self-care is not only about things like skincare, baths, shopping or treating yourself. It means looking after your physical and emotional wellbeing, which can include getting enough sleep, eating regularly, taking breaks, setting boundaries, asking for help and doing things you enjoy. Sometimes self-care is relaxing, but sometimes it means doing something practical that helps you feel more stable.
Myth: You need a perfect self-care routine every day.
Truth: You don’t have to follow a perfect routine every day. Some days you might have lots of energy, while on other days you might struggle to do the basics. Self-care should support you, not become another thing to feel guilty about getting wrong. Doing what you can is enough.
Myth: Looking after yourself is selfish.
Truth: Taking care of your own needs doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people. Looking after yourself can give you more energy and capacity to support the people around you. You are allowed to take breaks, say no and make time for yourself without feeling guilty.
Myth: Self-care should make difficult feelings disappear.
Truth: Self-care can help you cope with difficult feelings, but it can’t always fix what’s causing them. Having a bath, going for a walk or listening to music might help you feel calmer, but if you’re struggling for a long time, you may need additional support rather than more self-care.
Myth: Self-care means doing everything by yourself.
Truth: Asking someone else for help can be an important part of self-care. Talking to a friend, parent or carer, teacher, GP or mental health professional can help you manage things that feel difficult. You don’t have to handle everything alone.
Myth: Self-care has to be expensive.
Truth: You don’t need expensive products, treatments or activities to look after yourself. Self-care can be completely free. Getting some fresh air, listening to music, having a nap, talking to someone, doing something creative, taking a break from your phone or spending time with someone you care about can all count.
Support
Self-care can be something you work on yourself, but you don’t have to figure it all out alone. If you’re finding it difficult to look after yourself, there are people and services that can help you understand what is getting in the way and find things that work for you.
A trusted adult can be a good place to start. This could be a parent or carer, teacher, youth worker, school nurse, family member or another adult you feel safe with. They can listen to what you’re experiencing and help with practical things such as routines, sleep, eating, getting to school or making time for things you enjoy.
School or college support may include a pastoral team, school counsellor, school nurse, wellbeing service or safeguarding lead. They can help if stress, friendships, bullying, schoolwork or other difficulties are making it harder to look after yourself.
Your GP or other healthcare professional can help if difficulties with self-care are connected to your physical or mental health. They can talk through what you’re experiencing and help you access appropriate support, including mental health services if needed.
Mental health services can provide additional support when anxiety, low mood, stress, trauma or other difficulties are making everyday life difficult. Support might involve talking to a professional, learning coping strategies or accessing therapy.
Community and youth services can also provide support with things like social connection, activities, confidence and practical difficulties. A youth worker or local service may be able to help you find activities and support in your area.
Friends and family can also be part of your self-care. You might ask someone to go for a walk with you, help you get started on something you’ve been avoiding, listen when you’re having a difficult day or simply spend time with you.
Therapy interventions
Therapy for self-care isn’t usually about being taught how to “look after yourself” in isolation. Instead, it can help someone understand what is making self-care difficult and build skills, routines and confidence around their physical and emotional wellbeing. The most appropriate approach will depend on what the young person is struggling with.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Can help identify thoughts and behaviours that make self-care difficult, such as “There’s no point trying” or feeling guilty for resting. It can support someone to develop more helpful routines and gradually build activities that improve their wellbeing.
- Behavioural Activation – Can be particularly helpful when someone has low mood and has stopped doing things they enjoy or finds everyday tasks difficult. It focuses on gradually reintroducing meaningful activities and building a routine, even when motivation is low.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Helps someone notice difficult thoughts and feelings without letting them completely control their behaviour. It can support them to identify what matters to them and take small steps towards activities and routines that fit with their values.
- Mindfulness-based approaches – Teach someone to pay attention to their thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without immediately judging them. This can help with stress and emotional overwhelm and create more awareness of when they need a break or some support.
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) – Can be useful for people who are very self-critical or feel guilty about looking after themselves. It helps develop a kinder attitude towards themselves and recognise that needing rest, support or care is part of being human.
- Problem-solving therapy – Helps someone identify practical barriers to self-care and work through them step by step. This could include difficulties with routines, school, relationships, sleep or managing everyday responsibilities.
- Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) – Focuses on relationships and how they affect someone’s wellbeing. It can help someone develop supportive relationships, manage conflict and ask for help when they need it.
- Family therapy – For children and young people, involving parents or carers can help create an environment that makes self-care easier. This might involve improving communication, establishing routines and helping adults understand what support the young person needs.
- Occupational therapy – Can support young people who are struggling with everyday activities or routines. An occupational therapist can help break tasks into manageable steps and find practical strategies that make activities such as personal care, eating, sleeping, schoolwork and routines more manageable.
- Therapy for underlying difficulties – Sometimes difficulties with self-care are a symptom of something else, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, ADHD or other emotional difficulties. In these situations, therapy may focus primarily on the underlying difficulty, which can make self-care easier as things improve.
Helplines
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
Kooth
Kooth is a free online mental health and wellbeing service for young people. It offers a safe and confidential space where young people can access information, read helpful resources, take part in online discussions and receive support from trained professionals. Kooth can help with all sorts of issues that may affect young people’s mental health and wellbeing, including stress, anxiety, relationships, bullying, family difficulties, low mood and other challenges they may be experiencing.
Website: www.kooth.com
Online support: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Live chat with a practitioner: 12 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday; 6 pm–10 pm Saturday and Sunday
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org
The Mix
The Mix is a charity providing free information, advice and support for young people on all sorts of issues that can affect their lives and wellbeing. This includes mental health, relationships, money, housing, work and education, drugs and alcohol, bullying, social media, family difficulties and many other challenges. They offer information and practical advice to help young people understand what they are going through, make informed decisions and find further support when they need it.
Phone: 0808 808 4994
Opening times: 11 am–11 pm, 7 days a week
Website: http://www.themix.org.uk
Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 – available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: http://www.samaritans.org
Mind
Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Support For Us 