Moving to University

Summary

Moving to university is a big life change. You may be excited about having new experiences, meeting people, studying something you are interested in and having more independence. At the same time, you may feel nervous, overwhelmed, lonely or unsure about what to expect.

For some people, university means moving away from home for the first time. This can involve adjusting to a new city, living with people you do not know, managing your own finances, cooking and cleaning, travelling independently and making decisions without your usual support network nearby.

You may also experience changes to your academic life. University can involve more independent study and less structured support than you are used to. You may need to organise your own deadlines, manage a larger workload and ask for help when you need it.

It is common for university to involve a mixture of positive and difficult experiences. You might have a great day meeting new people and then feel lonely or homesick the next day. This does not mean that you are not coping or that you have made the wrong decision. Adjustment is a process, and everyone’s experience is different. You may experience:

  • Excitement about starting something new
  • Nervousness about meeting new people
  • Homesickness
  • Loneliness
  • Anxiety about academic work
  • Worry about fitting in
  • Feeling overwhelmed by a new environment
  • Changes to sleep or eating patterns
  • Difficulty managing your time
  • Financial worries
  • Concerns about accommodation
  • Missing family, friends or pets
  • Pressure to socialise
  • Difficulty balancing studying, socialising and resting
  • Uncertainty about your future

Some people find the transition particularly difficult because they are already experiencing mental health difficulties, have additional support needs or find changes in routine and environment difficult. You do not need to enjoy every part of university to have a positive experience. It can take time to find routines, people and places that feel comfortable. There is also no set timeline for settling in. Some people feel at home within a few weeks, while others take several months to adjust.

How to help myself

Moving to university involves a lot of changes at once. Try not to put pressure on yourself to immediately feel settled, make lots of friends or have your entire routine worked out. You may find it helpful to break the transition into smaller steps and focus on what you need today rather than everything you need to manage over the next few months. Take some time to explore your new surroundings gradually. It may help to find important places such as your university buildings, local shops and GP surgery, and work out your travel routes before you need to use them. Give yourself time to become comfortable in your accommodation and consider keeping some familiar items from home around you. It is also okay to take breaks from socialising when you need them and to have days where you do not feel settled.

Having a routine can provide structure when everything else feels new. Your routine does not need to be complicated, and you can start with a few consistent activities before building up from there. This might include getting up and going to bed at similar times each day, having regular meals, attending lectures and seminars, scheduling time for independent study, keeping up with personal care, going outside, doing some physical activity, making time for hobbies and keeping in contact with friends or family. You may need to change your routine as you learn more about what works for you. It is okay if your routine looks different from other students’ routines.

When you are busy or overwhelmed, things like eating, sleeping and personal care can become harder to manage. Try to notice when your basic needs are being neglected. Keeping easy meals and snacks available can be useful, and you may want to learn a few simple meals before moving to university. Keeping a water bottle with you, maintaining a regular sleep routine and taking breaks when studying can also help. Spending some time outside each day and making time for activities that help you relax can also support your wellbeing. Try to keep your living space manageable rather than putting pressure on yourself to keep everything perfect.

Moving away from home does not mean you have to lose contact with the people you care about. You could arrange regular phone or video calls with family, message friends from home, plan visits home where possible or invite friends and family to visit you. You can also build new connections at university by joining a society or activity based on one of your interests, spending time with people in your accommodation or attending smaller social activities if large events feel overwhelming. You do not need to become highly social immediately. One or two meaningful connections can be more helpful than trying to meet everyone.

University can involve a lot of independent work, so it is normal to need time to adjust. You may find it helpful to put deadlines and appointments in a calendar and break larger assignments into smaller tasks. Starting work early where possible can give you more time to manage unexpected difficulties. Make use of your university’s academic skills services and speak to your tutor if you are struggling. Taking regular breaks rather than working continuously can help you manage your workload. If you do not understand an assignment, deadline or expectation, ask for clarification. Try not to compare your progress with other students. People have different workloads, circumstances and ways of working, and you may not know what someone else’s experience is like from what you see.

It can be helpful to find out about university support before you need it. This may include university counselling or mental health services, student wellbeing services, academic or personal tutors, disability or accessibility services, student advisers, your Students’ Union, accommodation or residential support, financial advice, academic skills support, careers services and peer support groups. Save important contact details somewhere that is easy to find. If you become overwhelmed, you will not have to spend time searching for information about where to get help.

You do not have to wait until you are in crisis before asking for support. If you notice that your mental health is affecting your sleep, eating, studies, relationships or ability to manage everyday life, consider speaking to someone. This could be a friend or family member, your personal tutor, student wellbeing services, your GP, a mental health professional or another trusted member of university staff. If you already receive mental health support, consider finding out how you can continue accessing support after moving to university.

How to help a loved one

Moving to university can also be an adjustment for parents, carers, siblings and other family members. You may be excited for the young person while also feeling worried about how they will cope without you. It can be difficult to find the balance between offering support and allowing them to develop their independence. Try to remember that it is normal for both you and the young person to experience a mixture of emotions during this transition.

Before they move, you could agree how you will stay in contact. This might involve arranging a regular phone call, agreeing to send messages during the week, having a weekly video call or planning visits home. You could also agree that they can contact you whenever they need support. Try to avoid making contact feel like a check-up. Asking “How are you doing?” can be more useful than repeatedly asking whether they are coping, as this allows them to talk about their experience without feeling pressured to reassure you.

If they tell you that they are struggling, try to listen before immediately trying to solve the problem. You could ask questions such as “What has been difficult?”, “What would help right now?” or “Do you want me to listen or help you think about solutions?” You could also ask whether there is anyone at university they could speak to or whether they would like you to help them find support. Sometimes they may simply want reassurance or someone to listen rather than advice or a solution.

It can be tempting to take over when someone is struggling, particularly if you are worried about them. Where possible, support them to make their own decisions and develop their own problem-solving skills. For example, rather than contacting their university on their behalf, you could help them work out who they need to contact and support them while they make the call or send the email. This can help them build confidence while still knowing that support is available. If they are struggling, gently encourage them to maintain basic routines around sleep, eating, personal care, attending university, studying, exercise, social contact and hobbies. You can also offer practical support, such as helping them plan meals or reminding them about an appointment. Try to offer encouragement without making them feel pressured or criticised if they are finding these things difficult.

You may notice changes if they are struggling with their mental health. These could include becoming more withdrawn, stopping attending lectures, not responding to messages, changes in sleep or appetite, losing interest in activities, increased anxiety, frequent panic or distress, increased use of alcohol or drugs, difficulty managing everyday tasks or talking negatively about themselves or their future. If you notice significant or ongoing changes, talk to them about how they are feeling and encourage them to access appropriate support. You can ask directly whether they are struggling and what support they would find helpful. If you are concerned about their immediate safety, seek urgent support.

Homesickness is common when moving away from home. You can support them by acknowledging that missing home is understandable rather than suggesting that they should simply “get over it”. You could arrange regular contact, send familiar foods or items from home, plan their next visit home and encourage them to create familiar routines in their new environment. You could also help them identify people, activities or places that make university feel more comfortable.

If the young person already receives mental health support, encourage them to consider how this will continue after moving. They may need to register with a new GP, find out what mental health services their university provides and consider how they will continue appointments with existing services where appropriate. They may also want to contact their university’s disability or accessibility service to discuss any reasonable adjustments they need. It can be helpful to discuss what they could do if their mental health deteriorates, including who they could contact and where they could go for support. Having this information available before they need it can make it easier to access help during a difficult period.

Myth Buster

Myth: Everyone settles into university quickly.
Truth: There is no set amount of time it should take to feel settled. Some people feel comfortable within a few weeks, while others need several months to adjust to a new environment, routine and social group. Feeling homesick, lonely or overwhelmed at first does not mean that you are not suited to university.

Myth: Everyone makes lots of friends during Freshers’ Week.
Truth: Freshers’ Week is only one opportunity to meet people, and not everyone enjoys large social events. Friendships can develop throughout the academic year through lectures, societies, accommodation, volunteering, part-time work or shared interests. You do not need to find your closest friends immediately, and having a small number of meaningful relationships can be just as valuable as having a large social group.

Myth: You need to go to every social event to make friends.
Truth: Going to lots of events can be exhausting, particularly if you find busy or unfamiliar environments overwhelming. You can choose activities that interest you and take breaks when you need them. Saying no to an invitation does not mean that you are missing your only opportunity to make friends. Socialising works best when you can participate in ways that feel manageable for you.

Myth: Struggling at university means you are failing.
Truth: University involves a lot of changes, and struggling does not mean that you are incapable or that you have made the wrong choice. You may need time to adjust to independent study, managing your own routine, living away from home or meeting new people. Asking for academic, practical or mental health support is a way of managing these challenges rather than a sign that you have failed.

Myth: Everyone else knows what they are doing.
Truth: It can look as though other students are confident, organised and settled, but you cannot always see what someone else is experiencing. Many students are learning how to manage deadlines, finances, cooking, relationships and independent living for the first time. Comparing yourself to what you see other people doing can make it easy to assume that you are the only person finding things difficult.

Myth: Being homesick means you have made the wrong decision.
Truth: Missing familiar people, places, routines and comforts is a common part of moving away from home. You can miss home while also enjoying university and building a life there. Staying connected with people at home, bringing familiar belongings with you and creating new routines can help you adjust over time.

Myth: You have to manage your mental health on your own at university.
Truth: Moving away from home may mean taking more responsibility for your wellbeing, but you do not have to manage everything by yourself. Universities have support available, including wellbeing services, counselling, disability or accessibility services, personal tutors and academic support. You can also continue to access support from your GP or other professionals. Asking for help early can make it easier to manage difficulties before they become more overwhelming.

Support

Most universities have support services for students experiencing difficulties with their mental health, wellbeing, studies, finances, accommodation or other aspects of university life. Check your university website or student portal to find out what support is available and how to access it. If you are unsure where to start, you can contact your university’s student support or wellbeing service and explain what you are struggling with.

Student wellbeing teams can provide information, advice and support around your mental health. Depending on your university, this may include wellbeing appointments, counselling, workshops, peer support or referrals to other services. You do not need to wait until you are experiencing a crisis to contact them.

If you have a disability, neurodevelopmental condition, long-term health condition or mental health difficulty that affects your studies, your university may be able to provide reasonable adjustments and additional support. Contact your university’s disability or accessibility service to discuss your needs and find out what support is available. You may be able to access support such as adjustments to assessments, study arrangements, accommodation or other aspects of university life.

Your personal tutor or academic adviser can provide support with academic difficulties and may be able to help you identify other university services. If your mental health is affecting your attendance, concentration or ability to complete work, you can speak to them about what you are experiencing and discuss whether any academic support or adjustments may be appropriate.

Your Students’ Union can provide advice and support around university life, accommodation, finances, academic issues, discrimination and other concerns. They may also run societies, clubs, activities and peer support groups, which can provide opportunities to meet other students and develop connections.

You can register with a GP near your university. Your GP can talk to you about your mental health, discuss treatment options and refer you to other services where appropriate. If you already receive support from your GP before moving to university, you can ask about how you can continue accessing appropriate support after you move.

NHS Talking Therapies provides psychological support for people experiencing common mental health difficulties, including anxiety and depression. In England, you can usually refer yourself without seeing your GP first. You can access support through the service in the area where you are living.

If you are struggling with your accommodation or living situation, you may be able to speak to your accommodation team, residential adviser or student support team. They may be able to help with problems involving housemates, your living environment or practical concerns.

Money worries can have an impact on your mental health. Your university may have a student finance team, hardship fund or advice service that can help you understand what financial support is available. You can also speak to your Students’ Union or student adviser if you are experiencing financial difficulties.

Therapy interventions

Therapy can provide a safe and confidential space to explore how you are feeling and develop strategies to manage the challenges of university life. It may help you understand patterns in your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, manage stress and anxiety, cope with homesickness or changes in relationships, and develop confidence in managing new situations. Therapy can also help you identify what is important to you and find practical ways to balance studying, socialising, rest and your wider wellbeing. The type of therapy offered will depend on your individual needs, what you are experiencing and what is available through your university or local NHS services.

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – CBT may help you understand how your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected and develop different ways of responding to difficult situations.
  • Behavioural Activation (BA) – BA may help you gradually increase activities that are meaningful or enjoyable, particularly when low mood has led to withdrawing from activities or losing motivation.
  • Counselling – Counselling may provide a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts, feelings and experiences and consider ways of coping with difficulties.
  • Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) – IPT may help you explore how your relationships and life changes are affecting your mood and develop strategies for managing difficulties in your relationships.
  • Mindfulness-based approaches – These approaches may help you develop awareness of your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations and learn ways of managing stress and difficult emotions.
  • Problem-solving therapy – This may help you break down stressful situations into smaller, manageable problems and identify practical steps you can take.
  • Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) – CFT may help you develop a more supportive relationship with yourself and manage experiences of shame, self-criticism and difficult emotions.
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – ACT may help you develop ways of responding to difficult thoughts and feelings while focusing on your values and the things that are important to you.
  • Group therapy – Group therapy may provide an opportunity to work on difficulties alongside other people with similar experiences, while developing coping strategies and social connections.

Helplines

Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.

Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org

Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.

Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org

Student Minds
Student Minds is the UK’s student mental health charity. They provide information, advice and resources to support students with their mental health and wellbeing, as well as guidance for friends, parents, carers and university staff. Their resources cover topics including preparing for university, settling in, academic pressures, relationships and accessing mental health support.

Website: https://www.studentminds.org.uk/ 

Childline

Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.

Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk

For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted 

NSPCC

NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing. 

Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk