Depression

Summary

What is depression?

Depression is a common mental health difficulty that can affect how you think, feel, behave and manage everyday life. It is more than feeling sad or having a bad day. Everyone has times when they feel low, disappointed or upset, but depression tends to last longer and can have a bigger impact on how someone functions day to day. It can affect anyone, including children and teenagers, and people can experience it in different ways.

Depression does not always look like sadness. Someone might feel empty, numb, irritable, hopeless or disconnected, and sometimes they may not be able to explain why they feel different. They may also lose interest in things they normally enjoy or find that activities that used to feel rewarding no longer have the same appeal.

How might depression feel?

In your thoughts, you might:

  • Feel guilty, worthless or very negative about yourself.
  • Find it difficult to concentrate, remember things or make decisions.
  • Struggle to see the positives or feel hopeful about the future.
  • Experience “brain fog”, where thinking feels slower, harder or more effortful.
  • Be very self-critical or feel like you are a burden to other people.
  • Find yourself thinking more negatively about yourself, other people or the future.

In your body and emotions, you might:

  • Feel tired, drained or have very little energy.
  • Feel physically heavy, as though moving around and completing everyday tasks takes much more effort.
  • Feel tearful, or alternatively feel emotionally numb, disconnected or unable to cry.
  • Feel more or less hungry than usual, or notice changes in your appetite.
  • Sleep much more or much less than usual.
  • Experience aches, pains or other physical symptoms without an obvious cause.
  • Feel restless, slowed down or unable to settle.
  • Notice that everyday things require much more effort than they normally would.

Depression can also affect how you behave and interact with other people. You might become more irritable or snappy, even when you don’t mean to, or withdraw from friends and family because socialising feels exhausting. You may stop doing hobbies and activities you previously enjoyed or find it difficult to keep up with school, work, personal care and everyday responsibilities.

Sometimes depression can also involve thoughts about death, disappearing, self-harm or suicide. Having these thoughts can be frightening, but it is important to tell someone you trust and seek support. You do not need to wait until things become severe before asking for help.

Depression can develop following stressful or difficult experiences, such as bereavement, bullying, relationship difficulties, family problems or significant changes in life. However, sometimes depression develops without one obvious cause. A combination of biological, psychological and social factors can contribute to how someone feels, and you don’t need to be able to explain exactly why you’re struggling before you deserve support.

For children and teenagers, depression may sometimes look more like irritability, anger or frustration than sadness. You might find yourself becoming more easily annoyed, arguing with people or reacting strongly to things that wouldn’t normally bother you. Depression can also make everyday tasks feel exhausting or overwhelming. Getting dressed, showering, replying to messages, going to school or keeping up with hobbies might require much more effort than usual. This isn’t necessarily because you don’t care or aren’t trying – depression can affect your energy, motivation and ability to get started.

Depression doesn’t necessarily mean feeling low every minute of every day. You may still have moments where you laugh, enjoy something or feel okay. Having a good day doesn’t mean that your difficulties aren’t real. Symptoms can change over time, and some people become very good at hiding how they’re feeling from the people around them. Depression is treatable, and getting support early can make a real difference.

How to help myself

When you’re experiencing depression, even small things can feel like a huge effort. Try not to expect yourself to suddenly feel better or completely change your routine. Instead, focus on small, manageable steps and the things you can do today. Keeping some structure around getting up, eating, sleeping and getting ready can help, even if you don’t feel motivated to do these things.

Try to keep doing small amounts of the things you normally enjoy, even if they don’t feel as enjoyable right now. This might be listening to music, gaming, seeing a friend, going outside, exercising, reading or doing something creative. You may not immediately feel better, but continuing to take part in meaningful activities can help prevent you from becoming more withdrawn and give your mood opportunities to improve.

Stay connected to people you trust. Depression can make you want to isolate yourself, but spending time with supportive people can help you feel less alone. You don’t have to talk about your mental health every time you see someone. Simply sitting together, watching something, going for a walk or doing an activity can be helpful. If talking feels difficult, you could send someone a message or write down how you’ve been feeling instead.

Try to be kind to yourself about what you can manage. Depression can affect your motivation, concentration, sleep, appetite and energy, so struggling with everyday tasks doesn’t mean you’re lazy or failing. Break bigger tasks into smaller steps and focus on what is achievable. Having a shower, eating something, opening the curtains or replying to one message can all count as progress on a difficult day.

It can also help to notice and challenge very negative thoughts. Depression can make thoughts such as “I’m useless,” “Nobody cares about me” or “Things will never get better” feel completely true. Try to recognise these as thoughts that are being influenced by how you’re feeling rather than facts about who you are or what your future will be.

Most importantly, talk to someone if you’re struggling. A parent or carer, friend, teacher, school counsellor, GP or mental health professional can help you work out what support you need. You don’t need to wait until you can’t cope anymore, and asking for help doesn’t mean your difficulties aren’t something you should be able to handle yourself.

If you’re having thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself, tell someone you trust as soon as possible. If you think you might act on these thoughts or cannot keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E.

How to help a loved one

If someone you care about is experiencing depression, the most important thing you can do is let them know that you are there for them. Depression can make someone feel isolated, hopeless or like they are a burden, so having someone who listens without judgement can be incredibly important. Try to understand what they are experiencing rather than telling them to “cheer up” or simply focus on the positives. You don’t need to have the answers or fix their problems – sometimes listening and being present is enough.

Offer practical support with everyday things. Depression can make ordinary tasks feel exhausting, so you could help them with things like preparing food, going for a walk, getting to school, tidying their space or attending an appointment. Rather than taking over completely, ask what would be useful and help them break things down into manageable steps. Encourage them to keep doing things they enjoy and stay connected with people, but avoid putting pressure on them if they aren’t ready.

Try to keep checking in, even if they don’t always respond or want to talk. You could send a message, sit with them, watch something together, play a game or simply spend some quiet time in the same room. Depression can make people withdraw, so gentle, consistent contact can remind them that they haven’t been forgotten.

If they are struggling, encourage them to access professional support. This could be through a GP, school counsellor, school nurse, CAMHS or another mental health service. You could offer to help them arrange an appointment, find information or go with them. If they are already receiving support, you can encourage them to keep engaging with it without making them feel pressured.

It is also important to take talk of suicide or self-harm seriously. You can ask directly whether they have been thinking about suicide – asking does not put the idea into their head. If they tell you they are thinking about suicide, stay calm, listen and help them connect with a trusted adult or professional. If you believe they are in immediate danger, have seriously harmed themselves or may act on suicidal thoughts, call 999 or take them to A&E.

Finally, look after yourself too. Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, and you don’t have to manage everything alone. Speak to another trusted adult or professional if you’re worried. Supporting someone doesn’t mean being responsible for their recovery.

Myth Buster

Myth: “Depression is just being sad.”

Truth: Depression can involve sadness, but it is much more than feeling sad. Someone may also experience feeling numb or empty, losing interest in things they usually enjoy, having little motivation or energy, becoming more irritable, struggling to concentrate and finding everyday tasks incredibly difficult. Depression can affect thoughts, emotions, behaviour, relationships and physical wellbeing.

Myth: “If someone can smile, laugh or have fun, they can’t be depressed.”

Truth: People with depression do not necessarily feel sad every moment of every day. Someone may still laugh, enjoy time with friends, go to school or work and have moments where they feel okay while finding life very difficult overall. Some people may also become very good at hiding how they are feeling, meaning that their struggles aren’t always obvious to others.

Myth: “Depression means someone is weak.”

Truth: Depression is not a sign of weakness, laziness or a lack of effort. It is a common mental health difficulty that can affect anyone, and developing depression is not something someone chooses. Symptoms such as low motivation, tiredness and difficulty concentrating can make everyday life genuinely harder. Having depression does not mean someone is failing or not trying hard enough — it means they may need understanding and support.

Support

Therapy for depression isn’t about simply being told to “think more positively”. It can help someone understand what they’re experiencing, develop ways to manage difficult thoughts and feelings, and gradually reconnect with things that are important to them. The most appropriate approach will depend on the person’s age, symptoms and individual circumstances.

  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – Helps someone understand the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. It can help identify negative thinking patterns, challenge unhelpful beliefs and gradually build healthier ways of responding to difficult situations.
  • Behavioural Activation (BA) – Focuses on gradually increasing activities that provide a sense of enjoyment, achievement or connection. This can be particularly helpful when depression has led someone to withdraw from hobbies, friends or everyday activities.
  • Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) – Focuses on relationships and significant changes in someone’s life. It can help with difficulties such as conflict, bereavement, relationship breakdowns, loneliness and changes in social roles that may be contributing to low mood.
  • Mindfulness-based approaches – Can help someone become more aware of their thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without automatically getting caught up in them. This can support emotional regulation and reduce patterns of rumination.
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Helps someone make space for difficult thoughts and feelings while identifying their values and taking meaningful steps towards the things that matter to them.
  • Problem-Solving Therapy – Helps someone break overwhelming problems into smaller, manageable steps. It can be useful when practical difficulties such as school, relationships, family problems or stressful circumstances are contributing to depression.
  • Family therapy – Can be particularly helpful for children and young people. It supports families to improve communication, understand depression and develop ways of supporting the young person at home.
  • Trauma-focused therapy – May be considered when depression is connected to traumatic or distressing experiences. It focuses on processing these experiences safely and developing healthier ways of coping.

Helplines

Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.

Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk

For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted 

NSPCC

NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing. 

Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk

YoungMinds

YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services. 

Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/

Shout

Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.

Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: http://www.giveusashout.org

Samaritans

Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.

Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org

The Mix 

The Mix is a charity providing free information, advice and support for young people on all sorts of issues that can affect their lives and wellbeing. This includes mental health, relationships, money, housing, work and education, drugs and alcohol, bullying, social media, family difficulties and many other challenges. They offer information and practical advice to help young people understand what they are going through, make informed decisions and find further support when they need it. 

Phone: 0808 808 4994
Opening times: 11 am–11 pm, 7 days a week
Website: http://www.themix.org.uk
Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 – available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Mind

Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.

Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk 

Kooth

Kooth is a free online mental health and wellbeing service for young people. It offers a safe and confidential space where young people can access information, read helpful resources, take part in online discussions and receive support from trained professionals. Kooth can help with all sorts of issues that may affect young people’s mental health and wellbeing, including stress, anxiety, relationships, bullying, family difficulties, low mood and other challenges they may be experiencing.

Website: www.kooth.com
Online support: Available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
Live chat with a practitioner: 12 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday; 6 pm–10 pm Saturday and Sunday

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is a charity providing support for people who are struggling with their mental health or experiencing emotional distress. They support people with issues including low mood, anxiety, loneliness, stress, suicidal thoughts and difficult life experiences.

Phone: 0800 58 58 58
Opening times: 5pm–midnight, every day
Webchat: 5pm–midnight, every day
WhatsApp: Available through the CALM website
Website: http://www.thecalmzone.net