Summary
Coping strategies are things we can do to help ourselves manage difficult thoughts, feelings, situations and experiences. Everyone experiences stress, worry, frustration, sadness or feeling overwhelmed at times, and coping strategies can help us respond to these experiences in ways that support our wellbeing. They can be useful when dealing with everyday pressures, changes in life, relationship difficulties, uncertainty or more challenging experiences. Coping strategies do not make every problem disappear, but they can help us manage how we feel, decide what to do next and get through difficult moments.
Different situations call for different coping strategies. Something that helps when you feel worried might not be as useful when you feel angry, exhausted or sad. For example, talking to someone may help you work through a problem, while taking a break might be more helpful when you feel overstimulated. Some strategies help us manage emotions in the moment, while others help us address the situation causing the distress. Learning a range of approaches can help you work out what is most useful for you and give you more options when things feel difficult.
Coping strategies can support both our emotional and physical wellbeing. When we experience stress, our bodies may respond with changes such as a racing heart, muscle tension, restlessness, tiredness or difficulty sleeping. We may also notice changes in our thoughts and behaviour, such as becoming irritable, withdrawing from others, struggling to concentrate or avoiding things that feel uncomfortable. Coping strategies can help us recognise these responses, understand what we need and choose a helpful next step. They can also help us communicate our needs, manage responsibilities and maintain relationships during challenging times.
There is no single coping strategy that works for everyone, and you may need to try different approaches to find what suits you. Your preferences, circumstances, age, culture, sensory needs and previous experiences can all influence what feels helpful. Some strategies may work well in one situation but not another, and that is okay. Coping is a skill that can develop with practice, rather than something you are either naturally good or bad at. You do not have to manage every difficult feeling perfectly, and using a coping strategy does not mean you should always be able to feel better straight away.
It is also important to recognise the difference between coping with a difficult feeling and addressing the problem behind it. Taking a break might help you manage stress before an exam, but you may also need to organise your revision or ask your teacher for support. Talking to someone may help you feel less alone, while practical action may be needed to resolve a relationship problem or change an overwhelming situation. Sometimes, the most helpful response is to recognise that you need additional support rather than trying to manage everything by yourself. Coping strategies are tools to support you, not a replacement for addressing problems or seeking help when you need it.
How to help myself
Start by noticing how you are feeling and what you might need. You do not have to identify your emotions perfectly, but recognising that you feel worried, frustrated, sad, tired or overwhelmed can help you decide what might be useful. Try asking yourself, “What is making things difficult right now?”, “What would help me in this moment?” or “Is there something I can change, or do I need help managing how I feel about it?” You might need to rest, talk to someone, take practical action, have some space or give yourself time to process what has happened. Checking in with yourself can help you respond to your needs rather than automatically reacting to a difficult situation.
Talking to someone you trust can be a helpful way to cope. Sharing your worries with a friend, family member, parent or guardian, teacher or another trusted person may help you feel supported and less alone. You do not need to have a solution before talking about a problem, and you can explain whether you would like someone to listen, offer advice or help you work out what to do next. If talking feels difficult, you could write a message, make notes beforehand or communicate in another way that feels comfortable. Choose someone likely to listen respectfully and take your concerns seriously.
You may find it useful to express your feelings through activities that help you process or release them. This could include writing in a journal, drawing, painting, playing music, singing, dancing, crafting or talking through your thoughts. Creative activities do not need to produce anything impressive or meaningful to anyone else; they can simply provide a way to express what is happening internally. Some people prefer activities that involve movement, while others find quieter activities more helpful. Experiment with different options and notice whether they help you feel more settled, understood or able to think clearly.
Taking a break can be helpful when you feel overwhelmed, frustrated or mentally exhausted. You could step away from a demanding task, listen to music, spend time outdoors, read, have a drink of water or do something enjoyable for a short while. A break is not necessarily avoidance; it can give you time to recover and return to a situation with more energy. However, if you notice that you are repeatedly avoiding something important because it makes you anxious, consider whether you need support to approach it in smaller, manageable steps. The aim is to give yourself space when you need it without allowing difficult situations to become increasingly difficult to face.
Looking after your physical needs can also influence how well you cope emotionally. Try to eat regularly, drink enough water, get sufficient sleep and make time for movement that feels comfortable for you. When you are tired, hungry, unwell or physically tense, it can be harder to manage frustration, concentrate or respond calmly to problems. You may not always be able to meet these needs perfectly, particularly during busy or stressful periods, but small changes can still help. For example, preparing a snack, taking a short walk, having a regular bedtime or making time to rest after a demanding day may support your ability to cope.
Physical activity can be a useful coping strategy for some people. Walking, cycling, swimming, dancing, stretching, playing a sport or doing another activity you enjoy may help reduce tension, improve mood and provide a break from worrying thoughts. You do not need to exercise intensely or follow a strict routine to benefit. Choosing something that feels accessible and enjoyable is often more sustainable than forcing yourself to do an activity you dislike. If movement is not suitable for you, other activities that provide enjoyment, stimulation or relaxation can also be valuable.
When a problem feels too big to manage, try breaking it into smaller steps. Write down what needs to happen, identify what is most urgent and choose one manageable action to begin with. For example, if you feel overwhelmed by schoolwork, you could list the tasks you need to complete, choose one piece of work and spend a short period getting started. If you are worried about a conversation, you could write down what you want to say or practise it with someone you trust. You do not have to solve the entire problem at once. Making progress on one small step can help you feel more in control and make the next step easier to approach.
It can also help to pay attention to the way you speak to yourself. When things are difficult, you may find yourself thinking that you are useless, that you always get things wrong or that you should be coping better. These thoughts can increase distress and make problems feel harder to manage. Try to speak to yourself with the same understanding you would offer a friend. Instead of thinking, “I cannot do anything right”, you might remind yourself, “This is difficult, and I can work through it one step at a time”. You do not have to pretend that everything is fine; you can acknowledge that something is hard while still treating yourself with kindness.
Some situations require you to manage strong emotions before deciding what to do. If you feel angry, upset or anxious, you might find it helpful to pause before responding to a message, entering an argument or making an important decision. You could take some time away if it is safe to do so, write down what you want to say or speak to someone who can help you consider your options. Giving yourself time does not mean ignoring the problem. It can help you respond in a way that reflects what matters to you, rather than acting in the heat of the moment and regretting it later.
Try to identify patterns in the strategies that help you. You might notice that speaking to someone works well when you feel lonely, movement helps when you feel restless or making a plan helps when you feel overwhelmed by responsibilities. You could keep a list of strategies that you find useful and make it easy to access when you are having a difficult day. It can be helpful to include options that require different amounts of time and energy, such as a short activity you can do immediately and a longer activity you can plan for later. Remember that a strategy that helps once may not always work in the same way, so it is useful to have several options.
If you notice that a coping strategy is causing problems, consider whether another approach might be healthier or more helpful in the long term. For example, avoiding every situation that makes you anxious may provide short-term relief but can make your world feel increasingly restricted. Using alcohol or other substances to manage difficult feelings can also create additional problems. Taking frustration out on other people may damage relationships without resolving the underlying issue. If you find yourself relying on a strategy that leaves you feeling worse, ashamed or unsafe, try to speak to someone you trust or a professional about alternatives. You deserve support in finding ways to cope that do not create further difficulties.
Finally, remember that coping does not mean being calm, positive or productive all the time. Sometimes coping means getting through the day, asking someone for help, allowing yourself to rest or accepting that you cannot solve everything immediately. You may use strategies and still feel upset, and this does not mean you have failed. If distress is persistent, becoming more intense or interfering with your daily life, consider speaking to a trusted person, your GP or another appropriate professional. You do not have to wait until you reach a crisis before asking for support.
How to help a loved one
If someone you care about is struggling, one of the most useful things you can do is listen and show that you take their feelings seriously. You do not need to fix the problem or immediately offer advice. Ask what has been happening, give them time to explain and acknowledge that the situation may be difficult for them. You could ask whether they want you to listen, help them consider solutions or do something practical to support them. People cope in different ways, so try not to assume that what helps you will necessarily help them.
You can help someone explore coping strategies by discussing what they have found useful in the past and what might help in their current situation. If they are overwhelmed by responsibilities, you could help them break tasks into smaller steps. If they feel isolated, you might offer to spend time with them or help them contact someone they trust. If they are struggling to express their feelings, you could suggest writing things down or trying a creative activity together. Offer ideas gently and allow them to decide what they would like to try. Coping strategies are more likely to be useful when the person feels involved in choosing them rather than being told what they should do.
Try to avoid minimising someone’s feelings or pressuring them to feel better. Comments such as “Just stop worrying”, “Other people have it worse” or “You need to be more positive” can make someone feel that their distress is not being understood. Instead, acknowledge their experience and recognise that difficult emotions are part of being human. You can offer reassurance without making promises you cannot guarantee. For example, you might say, “I can see that this is really difficult for you. Would it help to talk through what is worrying you?” or “We do not have to work everything out right now; we can start with one thing”.
Practical support can also help someone cope. You might help them organise a task, accompany them to an appointment, prepare a meal, provide transport or help them find reliable information. If the problem involves school, work, relationships or health, you could help them identify the person or service that may be able to assist. Sometimes the most effective coping strategy is changing part of the situation that is causing distress, rather than expecting the person to manage their feelings alone. Ask what support they would welcome, and be mindful that taking over without their agreement may leave them feeling less in control.
Encourage the person to recognise their own strengths and the strategies that have helped them before. You might remind them of a difficult situation they managed successfully or help them notice small steps they have already taken. However, avoid suggesting that they should be able to cope because they have managed something similar in the past. Their circumstances and available energy may be different this time. Offer encouragement without creating pressure to recover quickly or meet expectations that feel unrealistic.
If someone is using coping strategies that appear to be harming them or others, approach the situation with care. For example, if they are withdrawing completely, using substances to manage distress or regularly becoming aggressive, acknowledge that they may be struggling while also recognising the impact of these behaviours. You can encourage them to explore safer alternatives and seek professional support. You do not have to accept behaviour that makes you feel unsafe, and you can maintain boundaries while still caring about the person.
Remember to look after your own wellbeing when supporting someone else. It can be difficult to see someone struggling, especially when you cannot make the problem disappear. You can listen, offer practical help and encourage them to seek support, but you are not responsible for managing all of their emotions or solving every difficulty. If you are concerned about their safety, take this seriously and seek appropriate help. Being patient, respectful and consistent can make a difference, even when progress is gradual.
Myth Buster
Myth: Coping strategies should make difficult feelings disappear
Truth: Coping strategies can help you manage emotions and situations, but they do not always remove distress straight away. Sometimes coping means making a difficult experience more manageable rather than making it disappear
Myth: There is one coping strategy that works for everyone
Truth: Different people find different things helpful, and the same person may need different strategies in different situations. Finding what works for you may involve trying several approaches
Myth: If a coping strategy does not work immediately, it is pointless
Truth: Some strategies take practice, and others may be more useful in certain situations than others. It is okay to try something different if an approach is not helping
Myth: Coping means dealing with everything on your own
Truth: Asking for help is a coping strategy too. Talking to someone you trust or accessing professional support can help you manage difficulties more safely and effectively
Myth: Taking a break is lazy or irresponsible
Truth: Rest can help you recover energy, manage stress and return to tasks with greater focus. Taking a break can be a useful part of coping, particularly when you feel overwhelmed or exhausted
Myth: Positive thinking is enough to solve every problem
Truth: A helpful perspective can make difficult situations easier to manage, but some problems also require practical action, support or changes to your circumstances. You do not have to pretend that everything is fine
Myth: If you are using coping strategies, you should always be able to control your emotions
Truth: Emotions can be intense and unpredictable, even when you are trying your best. Coping is about responding to difficult experiences as helpfully as possible, not controlling every feeling perfectly
Myth: Avoiding something that makes you anxious is always the best option
Truth: Taking a temporary break can be helpful, but avoiding situations indefinitely may sometimes make anxiety more restrictive. When it is safe and appropriate, approaching a difficult situation gradually with support can help build confidence
Myth: Some coping strategies are only for people who have mental health difficulties
Truth: Everyone experiences stress and difficult emotions. Coping strategies can be useful for everyday challenges as well as more significant difficulties
Myth: If you are still struggling, it means you are not trying hard enough
Truth: Difficult circumstances, health problems and ongoing stress can affect how well someone copes. You may need more support or changes to the situation, and struggling does not mean you have failed
Support
You can learn about coping strategies through trusted adults, family members, friends, school staff, community organisations and health professionals. If you are a child or young person, a parent or guardian, teacher, school counsellor or another trusted adult may be able to help you identify strategies that suit your needs. If you are struggling with ongoing stress, anxiety, low mood or other difficulties, your GP can discuss what support may be available.
If you are finding it difficult to manage everyday responsibilities, consider whether there are practical changes that could reduce the pressure you are experiencing. This might include asking for help with schoolwork, discussing adjustments at school or work, sharing responsibilities at home or accessing support from a relevant service. You do not have to rely solely on individual coping strategies when there are changes that could make your circumstances more manageable.
If distress is persistent, severe or interfering with sleep, relationships, education, work or daily life, consider seeking support from a qualified professional. A mental health professional can help you understand what you are experiencing and explore approaches that may be useful for your circumstances. If you feel unable to keep yourself safe or are in immediate danger, seek urgent help.
Therapy interventions
Not everyone who experiences stress or difficult emotions will need therapy. Many people benefit from learning practical coping strategies, receiving support from others and making changes to their circumstances. If difficulties persist or become overwhelming, a qualified professional can help identify the most appropriate support.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – CBT can help people understand the connections between thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviours. It can support them to identify unhelpful thinking patterns and develop more balanced ways of responding to difficult situations. For example, someone who feels overwhelmed by schoolwork might learn to challenge the thought that they will never finish everything and break their work into manageable tasks.
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – DBT teaches skills for managing intense emotions, tolerating distress, responding thoughtfully and communicating effectively. For example, someone who becomes very upset during disagreements may learn to pause, manage the intensity of their emotions and choose how to respond without making the situation worse.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – ACT helps people make space for difficult thoughts and feelings while taking action towards what matters to them. For example, someone who feels anxious about joining an activity may learn to acknowledge their anxiety while gradually taking steps towards something they value.
- Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) – CFT helps people develop a kinder response to themselves, particularly when they experience shame, guilt or harsh self-criticism. For example, someone who tells themselves they are weak for struggling may learn to recognise the pressure they are under and respond with greater understanding.
- Mindfulness-based approaches – Mindfulness can help people notice their thoughts, feelings and physical sensations without immediately judging or reacting to them. It may support emotional awareness and stress management. For example, someone might practise paying attention to their thoughts during a stressful day and recognising when they need a break. Grounding techniques are a related but distinct set of strategies and are covered separately.
- Problem-solving approaches – Problem-solving interventions help people define a difficulty, consider possible solutions and decide on practical next steps. For example, someone who feels overwhelmed by competing responsibilities may work with a professional to identify priorities, break tasks down and decide what support they need.
- Psychoeducation – Psychoeducation helps people understand stress, emotions and the ways that thoughts, feelings and behaviours influence one another. Learning about common responses to difficult situations can help people recognise their needs and choose appropriate coping strategies.
- Stress management interventions – These approaches help people identify sources of stress and develop ways to manage them. They may include planning, relaxation, time management, improving routines and recognising when responsibilities have become too demanding. For example, someone experiencing stress at school may develop a more manageable revision schedule and plan regular breaks.
Helplines
Childline
Childline is a free service for young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Childline is available to anybody who is 18 years old or younger.
Phone: 0800 1111
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
You can also find helpful resources, speak to a counsellor online or send a message on their site.
Website: www.childline.org.uk
For adults concerned about a child, the NSPCC can be contacted
NSPCC
NSPCC is a children’s charity that works to protect children and prevent abuse and neglect. They provide support and advice for adults about child abuse, neglect, child safety, online safety and children’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
Phone: 0808 800 5000
Opening times: 10 am–4 pm, Monday–Friday
Email: help@nspcc.org.uk
Email opening times: 11 am–4 pm, 7 days a week
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
YoungMinds
YoungMinds is a national charity supporting the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. They provide information, advice and support for parents and carers who are concerned about a young person’s mental health, and help people understand mental health difficulties, find appropriate support and access useful resources. Their Parents Helpline can provide information, advice, emotional support and signposting to other services.
Parent helpline: 0808 802 5544 (9:30 am – 4 pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and from 9:30 am – 6 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays)
Email: parents@youngminds.org.uk
Webchat: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline/
Shout
Shout is a free, confidential text messaging service that provides support to anyone who is struggling to cope. It can help with a wide range of issues, including stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, relationship difficulties, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, feeling overwhelmed and other mental health challenges.
Text: SHOUT to 85258
Opening times: Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.giveusashout.org
Mind
Mind is a mental health charity providing information, advice and support for people experiencing mental health difficulties. They cover a wide range of mental health and wellbeing issues, including anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, loneliness, coping with difficult experiences and managing everyday life. Mind provides information to help people understand what they are experiencing, know their rights, find appropriate support and feel less alone.
Phone: 0300 123 3393
Opening times: 9am–6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays)
Email: info@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans is a charity providing emotional support to anyone who is struggling to cope or needs someone to talk to. They are there for people experiencing all sorts of difficulties, including stress, anxiety, loneliness, relationship or family problems, bereavement, feeling overwhelmed and concerns about mental health or suicide.
Phone: 116 123
Opening times: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Website: www.samaritans.org
